I'm ready to jump out of my skin because I am so excited about tomorrow!! Well, I'm extremely nervous too...but I'm trying to focus on the excitement not the nervousness ;-)
M&M let me know that the egg donor is starting her meds now and is hoping for a late April retrieval. I am hoping the clinic says they can get everything with my cycle done for then so they can do a fresh transfer. If not, it won't be the end of the world as we are finding more and more people who had good luck with frozen...but it would be nice to at least get to try for a fresh.
It really is a good thing that I am so super busy at work today. I don't have time to concentrate on the fact that tomorrow is such a life altering day! I have decided to take the day off of work tomorrow. I was going to go into the office after my appointment but my boss told me I could take off to get stuff done around my house (she knows about the surrogacy). I think it's a good thing that I am getting the day off. If they tell me there is no way I can be a surrogate I can go home and cry rather than try to work the rest of the day. And if they tell me I can do this for M&M then I can go get my nails done, get my hair cut, and pamper myself. Hmm...maybe a pedicure would be nice ;-)
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Sunday, February 25, 2007
CD1
Well, today is the first day of my new cycle. I'm a little upset that my cycle is so predictable...I was really hoping that I would be a day or two late this month. You see, my appointment with the clinic is on Thursday. All the paperwork I have from them says that you have to call them on the first day of your cycle to schedule the testing and mock cycle that needs to be done prior to the actual transfer. I was *hoping* that my body would give me just one cycle where I started a day or two late so that I would only be on day 3 of my cycle when I went to the clinic. I was *hoping* that they would let the 2 or 3 days slide and schedule everything that needs to be done for THIS cycle. However, I'll be on CD5 (cycle day 5) on Thursday, so I am thinking that is probably too late for them to try and get everything done this month. Argh. Oh well, I guess there really isn't anything I can do about it. Maybe they can at least do the testing this month...I don't see any reason why scheduling it on CD5 would be any different from scheduling it on CD1. But I'm not a doctor so I guess I could be wrong - haha!!
And let me just close with - LET IT SNOW, LET IT SNOW, LET IT SNOW! :-)
And let me just close with - LET IT SNOW, LET IT SNOW, LET IT SNOW! :-)
Saturday, February 24, 2007
More about me!
Since I don't have anything surrogacy related to post at the moment, I thought I would post a little more about me! I know some people who read this blog are friends of mine so this may bore them a little but I wanted to really introduce myself to those of you who don't know me yet.
Let's start with the easiest - my name is Linda. I am 28 years old although I am quickly closing in on 29 - ugh! I have been married to Paul, who is 39, for 7.5 years. We have a beautiful little girl, Shayla, who was born in November 2005. She is the light of my life. <3
I am a secretary for The Arc of Burlington County. I am, basically, an administrative assistant for anyone in my office who needs me. My main job is to make sure our employees are all up to date on their state training, I schedule training for staff of other non-profit agencies, and I keep our membership database up to date. However, I do a little bit of everything for everybody in the office. I love my job and my co-workers. It's a small office (there are only 14 of us) so we are all pretty close. Most of the people working there have been with The Arc for 10+ years!!
We own a great Victorian in Mount Holly, NJ. It's a beautiful house that is approximately 150 years old. Fortunately for us, the previous owners kept it in great shape, so there is very little work that needs to be done to it. It has 4 bedrooms (2 on each floor) which works out great for us -- we have the master bedroom, Shayla has a bedroom, one is Paul's office, and the last one is a spare bedroom for guests. When we saw this house online 9 months ago, we just *knew* it was the one we were meant to raise Shayla in. We went through he** to get here, but it was all worth it!!
Before moving here I was a Real Estate agent in Ocean County. I used to be really good at it but after getting pregnant with my daughter, my priorities changed. I no longer wanted to show houses all weekend, I wanted to go baby clothes shopping. Maybe someday I'll get back into it, but for now I am happy with where my life has led me.
So, that's me in a nutshell. :-)
Let's start with the easiest - my name is Linda. I am 28 years old although I am quickly closing in on 29 - ugh! I have been married to Paul, who is 39, for 7.5 years. We have a beautiful little girl, Shayla, who was born in November 2005. She is the light of my life. <3
I am a secretary for The Arc of Burlington County. I am, basically, an administrative assistant for anyone in my office who needs me. My main job is to make sure our employees are all up to date on their state training, I schedule training for staff of other non-profit agencies, and I keep our membership database up to date. However, I do a little bit of everything for everybody in the office. I love my job and my co-workers. It's a small office (there are only 14 of us) so we are all pretty close. Most of the people working there have been with The Arc for 10+ years!!
We own a great Victorian in Mount Holly, NJ. It's a beautiful house that is approximately 150 years old. Fortunately for us, the previous owners kept it in great shape, so there is very little work that needs to be done to it. It has 4 bedrooms (2 on each floor) which works out great for us -- we have the master bedroom, Shayla has a bedroom, one is Paul's office, and the last one is a spare bedroom for guests. When we saw this house online 9 months ago, we just *knew* it was the one we were meant to raise Shayla in. We went through he** to get here, but it was all worth it!!
Before moving here I was a Real Estate agent in Ocean County. I used to be really good at it but after getting pregnant with my daughter, my priorities changed. I no longer wanted to show houses all weekend, I wanted to go baby clothes shopping. Maybe someday I'll get back into it, but for now I am happy with where my life has led me.
So, that's me in a nutshell. :-)
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Cue Jeopardy Music
We are still in the waiting phase. My appointment with the clinic is 3/1. I can't wait! I am going to be bouncing off the walls by then - hehe! I am going to have to keep my fingers crossed that they give us the thumbs up. Although the surrogacy coordinator did tell me that the doctor generally does not say yes or no to a carrier, he will just "give his opinion". She said the ultimate decision would be up to the intended parents....which is good news for me because I'm pretty sure M&M are happy with their decision to use me as their carrier. I really think the doctor would have to say something like "are you nuts wanting to use this woman as your carrier? You crazy people!" in order for them to rethink their decision.
I didn't tell you all about my blood draw the other day. Wow. That's all I can say - wow. 13 viles of blood. 13!!! Paul and I were joking that I might as well have went and donated blood with how much I had to give. Sheesh. As long as everything goes well at the clinic next week, it will all be worth it. <3
I didn't tell you all about my blood draw the other day. Wow. That's all I can say - wow. 13 viles of blood. 13!!! Paul and I were joking that I might as well have went and donated blood with how much I had to give. Sheesh. As long as everything goes well at the clinic next week, it will all be worth it. <3
Friday, February 16, 2007
Lalala!
There's not too much to update right now; we are still in that waiting phase. I did have my gyn appointment yesterday which was fairly normal and uneventful.
A funny story I didn't tell you all about -- remember when I went to the lab to get my bloodwork the other day and the woman refused to do it for me, so I tried explaining to her that the bloodwork I NEEDED didn't have anything to do with fasting? Well, I didn't tell you the rest of that conversation (probably because I was too mad that day - haha!). She asked what I meant by bloodwork that I needed vs. bloodwork that the doctor wanted. So I did a quick explanation about becoming a surrogate and the bloodwork that I need is from the clinic, not the doctor. She looks at me and says "You are going to be a surrogate, ugh. You do know that it's going to kill those perky boobs of yours, don't you?" I didn't know what to say!! How do you respond to that? So she keeps going...she tells me that she had her son at 19 and her boobs immediately drooped and just kept going on and on. I am staring at her with the most blank look ever wondering why she is still talking. I just said "well, I already have a baby so I know what it does to you" and I walked out. Seriously, what makes people think they can just say whatever they want ?!?
A funny story I didn't tell you all about -- remember when I went to the lab to get my bloodwork the other day and the woman refused to do it for me, so I tried explaining to her that the bloodwork I NEEDED didn't have anything to do with fasting? Well, I didn't tell you the rest of that conversation (probably because I was too mad that day - haha!). She asked what I meant by bloodwork that I needed vs. bloodwork that the doctor wanted. So I did a quick explanation about becoming a surrogate and the bloodwork that I need is from the clinic, not the doctor. She looks at me and says "You are going to be a surrogate, ugh. You do know that it's going to kill those perky boobs of yours, don't you?" I didn't know what to say!! How do you respond to that? So she keeps going...she tells me that she had her son at 19 and her boobs immediately drooped and just kept going on and on. I am staring at her with the most blank look ever wondering why she is still talking. I just said "well, I already have a baby so I know what it does to you" and I walked out. Seriously, what makes people think they can just say whatever they want ?!?
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Getting way ahead of myself!
Last night after talking to M on the phone I started to get excited. I know I shouldn't yet because we haven't gotten to the stage where the clinic (or judge, if you will) slams down the gavel and tells me my fate. Buuuttt, the emotional part of me can't just sit around and wait for that judgement. The emotional part of me can't help but get excited.
I was thinking about all the cool things from my pregnancy with my daughter -- the things that are exciting because it's your first baby. And I realized that I get to share that "first baby" excitement with M&M. The funny things you do to try and find out the gender before that big ultrasound -- like peeing on drano, taking quizzes, swinging a ring on string, etc. Putting headphones on your belly so the baby learns to like the music you like. The first time the daddy can feel the baby kick from the outside. I can't wait to share all of those things with M&M!
I was thinking about all the cool things from my pregnancy with my daughter -- the things that are exciting because it's your first baby. And I realized that I get to share that "first baby" excitement with M&M. The funny things you do to try and find out the gender before that big ultrasound -- like peeing on drano, taking quizzes, swinging a ring on string, etc. Putting headphones on your belly so the baby learns to like the music you like. The first time the daddy can feel the baby kick from the outside. I can't wait to share all of those things with M&M!
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Better today
Well everyone, I am doing better today. I'm not constantly worrying about being approved by the clinic. One of the ladies on the surrogacy message board I am on was rejected by her couple's clinic so the couple brought her to a different one who approved her on the spot. I think that makes me feel better....knowing that my surrogacy fate is not in the hands of ONE doctor. Phew!
M&M went to visit another clinic today -- I can't wait to hear how it went! I am a little concerned about them driving up there and back in this snow though! Even my job let all of us leave early because the roads were getting so icy. I hope they have no problems. *fingers crossed*
And I received my records from my obstetrician in the mail today - yippee! I could have had them a week earlier (with a lot less headache) if they would have known the law in the first place, but I'm glad that it's at least over with and I now have them in my posession. I am scared to look at them though - does that make any sense? I mean, don't get me wrong, I will definitely be reading them tonight...I'm just weirded out by the thought of seeing my entire OB history right there in front of me. I know - I'm strange ;-)
M&M went to visit another clinic today -- I can't wait to hear how it went! I am a little concerned about them driving up there and back in this snow though! Even my job let all of us leave early because the roads were getting so icy. I hope they have no problems. *fingers crossed*
And I received my records from my obstetrician in the mail today - yippee! I could have had them a week earlier (with a lot less headache) if they would have known the law in the first place, but I'm glad that it's at least over with and I now have them in my posession. I am scared to look at them though - does that make any sense? I mean, don't get me wrong, I will definitely be reading them tonight...I'm just weirded out by the thought of seeing my entire OB history right there in front of me. I know - I'm strange ;-)
Monday, February 12, 2007
Oy
That's right---two posts in one day. It's really just been that kind of a day! This post is about the medical community and how they make you jump through hoops for every little thing.
You are all aware of the fun I went through trying to get my medical records from my obstetrician. Well today I called and gave them my credit card number and the records are FINALLY in the mail. Wahoo!
However, I was also trying to get my records from my reproductive endocrinalogist. I had faxed them a letter asking them to please copy my records and mail them to me. Today I get a call telling me that my records are ready to be picked up. I asked if they could please mail them to me but they tell me due to privacy laws they can't. I explain to them that I don't live in the area any more and it would be very difficult for me to get there to pick them up. They then inform me that I can have someone else pick them up. Uhhh...does this make sense to you? They can't mail them because of privacy laws but I can send someone else to get them for me. I would just like to say: DUH!
I took a half day off work today so I could go to the doctor's office to get a script for bloodwork and then go get my bloodwork done. I was at the doctor's office for 1 hour and 40 minutes. No, I am NOT joking. All to get a script for bloodwork. He has to check my breathing, press on my stomach, and pretend to make conversation. If I were paying for this visit myself I might have appreciated his effort to make it look like he was doing something worthy of making all that money; however I am not paying for the visit, my insurance is. So I don't care if all he did was walk in and hand me the script. Heck, he could have had a nurse do it! Anyway, after he does his 'physical' on me he starts writing the script (copying the 40 million different blood tests the clinic is asking for). He says he's going to add one more to the script (a little background, I had bloodwork taken 6 months ago and my good cholesterol was borderline) because he wants to check my number and make sure it's gone up. I knew that the one he was adding was a fasting test so I asked him if the crackers and coffee I had this morning were going to skew the numbers and he said not to worry about it. I get to the lab and they refuse to do the test because I haven't fasted for 12 hours!! I explain that the bloodwork that I NEED to get has nothing to do with fasting and that the one the doctor wanted is what's messing this all up. Nope...can't do it because I had crackers 6 hours ago. Aaaaahhhh!!! Remember in my last post how I talked about running around screaming - yep, that's how I felt this afternoon! It just seems I had one of those days where nothing goes the way you want it to.
I was already taking an hour off work on Thursday to go to the gynecologist for more testing, so I'm just going to have to take two hours off work and go get my bloodwork afterwards. Of course I have to starve myself all day, so this should be fun! :-P
Thank you for listening to my ranting today -- I promise to be better tomorrow - haha! Oh and M&M if you are reading this - good luck at the clinic tomorrow!!! *hugs*
You are all aware of the fun I went through trying to get my medical records from my obstetrician. Well today I called and gave them my credit card number and the records are FINALLY in the mail. Wahoo!
However, I was also trying to get my records from my reproductive endocrinalogist. I had faxed them a letter asking them to please copy my records and mail them to me. Today I get a call telling me that my records are ready to be picked up. I asked if they could please mail them to me but they tell me due to privacy laws they can't. I explain to them that I don't live in the area any more and it would be very difficult for me to get there to pick them up. They then inform me that I can have someone else pick them up. Uhhh...does this make sense to you? They can't mail them because of privacy laws but I can send someone else to get them for me. I would just like to say: DUH!
I took a half day off work today so I could go to the doctor's office to get a script for bloodwork and then go get my bloodwork done. I was at the doctor's office for 1 hour and 40 minutes. No, I am NOT joking. All to get a script for bloodwork. He has to check my breathing, press on my stomach, and pretend to make conversation. If I were paying for this visit myself I might have appreciated his effort to make it look like he was doing something worthy of making all that money; however I am not paying for the visit, my insurance is. So I don't care if all he did was walk in and hand me the script. Heck, he could have had a nurse do it! Anyway, after he does his 'physical' on me he starts writing the script (copying the 40 million different blood tests the clinic is asking for). He says he's going to add one more to the script (a little background, I had bloodwork taken 6 months ago and my good cholesterol was borderline) because he wants to check my number and make sure it's gone up. I knew that the one he was adding was a fasting test so I asked him if the crackers and coffee I had this morning were going to skew the numbers and he said not to worry about it. I get to the lab and they refuse to do the test because I haven't fasted for 12 hours!! I explain that the bloodwork that I NEED to get has nothing to do with fasting and that the one the doctor wanted is what's messing this all up. Nope...can't do it because I had crackers 6 hours ago. Aaaaahhhh!!! Remember in my last post how I talked about running around screaming - yep, that's how I felt this afternoon! It just seems I had one of those days where nothing goes the way you want it to.
I was already taking an hour off work on Thursday to go to the gynecologist for more testing, so I'm just going to have to take two hours off work and go get my bloodwork afterwards. Of course I have to starve myself all day, so this should be fun! :-P
Thank you for listening to my ranting today -- I promise to be better tomorrow - haha! Oh and M&M if you are reading this - good luck at the clinic tomorrow!!! *hugs*
Anxious
I am starting to get really nervous. I am so afraid the doctor is going to laugh at me when I go there for my consulation. I'm scared they are going to tell me I'm not a good candidate for surrogacy. That would crush me. I want nothing more than to give M&M a baby (or two!).
Have you ever wanted to just run around and scream? That's how I feel right now! I just want to scream. I'm having nightmares of the doctors laughing at me. I know it's out of my control....maybe that's why I feel this way. I am the type of person that needs to be in control of things going on in my life and this is one thing I have no control over. It is completely in the hands of the doctors now. They decide my fate and that scares the crap outta me!
All I can do is promise that I will do everything I can to give M&M a baby. If.....when the doctors give us the go ahead, I am going to do everything in my power to make sure they have a healthy baby at the end of all of this. It is such a long, hard journey they are going through...all I want to do is give them the happy ending they deserve.
Have you ever wanted to just run around and scream? That's how I feel right now! I just want to scream. I'm having nightmares of the doctors laughing at me. I know it's out of my control....maybe that's why I feel this way. I am the type of person that needs to be in control of things going on in my life and this is one thing I have no control over. It is completely in the hands of the doctors now. They decide my fate and that scares the crap outta me!
All I can do is promise that I will do everything I can to give M&M a baby. If.....when the doctors give us the go ahead, I am going to do everything in my power to make sure they have a healthy baby at the end of all of this. It is such a long, hard journey they are going through...all I want to do is give them the happy ending they deserve.
Friday, February 9, 2007
Slowly moving forward...
It seems the beginning stages of surrogacy include a lot of waiting around. Waiting for doctor's appointments, waiting for test results, waiting for contracts, waiting for the REAL journey to begin.
The good news is that I finally got my obstetrician to agree to release my records to me. For whatever reason they were giving me a very hard time about releasing them to me rather than a doctor. Luckily, I am bright and knew that was illegal so I took it upon myself to write them a nice little letter and include a copy of both NJ law and HIPAA rules reminding them that they HAD to send me my records if I requested them. Go figure, yesterday my husband receives a call from them saying that I didn't have to be so rude, of course they will give me my records - lmao!!
And on another note, I just want to say how much I love the couple I am working with (M&M for future reference). Everytime I talk to them I *know* this is right. I <3 them!
The good news is that I finally got my obstetrician to agree to release my records to me. For whatever reason they were giving me a very hard time about releasing them to me rather than a doctor. Luckily, I am bright and knew that was illegal so I took it upon myself to write them a nice little letter and include a copy of both NJ law and HIPAA rules reminding them that they HAD to send me my records if I requested them. Go figure, yesterday my husband receives a call from them saying that I didn't have to be so rude, of course they will give me my records - lmao!!
And on another note, I just want to say how much I love the couple I am working with (M&M for future reference). Everytime I talk to them I *know* this is right. I <3 them!
Monday, February 5, 2007
Beginning my journey...
Hi! I'm Linda. I'm just starting my journey through surrogacy and wanted to share it with all of you. A little background:
I've wanted to be a surrogate for sometime now. Over the last few months, that need has become much stronger. I recently decided I had to at least give it a try. I had heard that it was hard to enter the surrogacy world but I needed to jump in and see what would happen. I filled out a gazillion page application, attached my resume, my family photo, my driver's license, and everything else they wanted and sent it out. In the week following that huge step I waited around, twiddling my thumbs, wanting to get that call. It never came. A friend of mine told me about an awesome website for surrogates so I went to take a gander. I was amazed at the love and support that was shown on the message boards. I decided to peek through the classified ads of couples looking for surrogates. I happened across an ad from a couple in NY who was looking for someone in NY or NJ to be their surrogate. Their ad really touched me. Then I got to the end and they said they were going to use the clinic that is less than a 1/2 hour from my house. I knew in my heart I was meant to answer that ad. I emailed back and forth with the guy for a few days and then we talked on the phone. We had so many things to talk about, the conversation flowed naturally, there were no awkward moments, and there were definitely one too many coincidences in our lives to deem them coincidences. We decided to meet that weekend as I was going to the city anyway to meet up with a friend. We got together at Starbucks and got along famously. They played with my daughter as if they had known her since she was born. We talked about what we were looking for in surrogacy, what was important to us, how we wanted our journeys to go, etc. At the end of our 'date' I felt at ease with my decision. They were such wonderful guys. They wanted a baby so bad. And I could give that to them.
That brings us to today. This morning I received an email from them officially saying they wanted me to be their surrogate. They even called me their angel <3 Now I have to make a few hundred doctor's appointments, contact an attorney, and get ready for the whirlwind we call surrogacy. I am excited, happy, nervous, thrilled, and ecstatic all at once. I have a feeling this is going to be a rollercoaster....why don't you come along for the ride?
I've wanted to be a surrogate for sometime now. Over the last few months, that need has become much stronger. I recently decided I had to at least give it a try. I had heard that it was hard to enter the surrogacy world but I needed to jump in and see what would happen. I filled out a gazillion page application, attached my resume, my family photo, my driver's license, and everything else they wanted and sent it out. In the week following that huge step I waited around, twiddling my thumbs, wanting to get that call. It never came. A friend of mine told me about an awesome website for surrogates so I went to take a gander. I was amazed at the love and support that was shown on the message boards. I decided to peek through the classified ads of couples looking for surrogates. I happened across an ad from a couple in NY who was looking for someone in NY or NJ to be their surrogate. Their ad really touched me. Then I got to the end and they said they were going to use the clinic that is less than a 1/2 hour from my house. I knew in my heart I was meant to answer that ad. I emailed back and forth with the guy for a few days and then we talked on the phone. We had so many things to talk about, the conversation flowed naturally, there were no awkward moments, and there were definitely one too many coincidences in our lives to deem them coincidences. We decided to meet that weekend as I was going to the city anyway to meet up with a friend. We got together at Starbucks and got along famously. They played with my daughter as if they had known her since she was born. We talked about what we were looking for in surrogacy, what was important to us, how we wanted our journeys to go, etc. At the end of our 'date' I felt at ease with my decision. They were such wonderful guys. They wanted a baby so bad. And I could give that to them.
That brings us to today. This morning I received an email from them officially saying they wanted me to be their surrogate. They even called me their angel <3 Now I have to make a few hundred doctor's appointments, contact an attorney, and get ready for the whirlwind we call surrogacy. I am excited, happy, nervous, thrilled, and ecstatic all at once. I have a feeling this is going to be a rollercoaster....why don't you come along for the ride?
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