Anxious

I am starting to get really nervous. I am so afraid the doctor is going to laugh at me when I go there for my consulation. I'm scared they are going to tell me I'm not a good candidate for surrogacy. That would crush me. I want nothing more than to give M&M a baby (or two!).

Have you ever wanted to just run around and scream? That's how I feel right now! I just want to scream. I'm having nightmares of the doctors laughing at me. I know it's out of my control....maybe that's why I feel this way. I am the type of person that needs to be in control of things going on in my life and this is one thing I have no control over. It is completely in the hands of the doctors now. They decide my fate and that scares the crap outta me!

All I can do is promise that I will do everything I can to give M&M a baby. If.....when the doctors give us the go ahead, I am going to do everything in my power to make sure they have a healthy baby at the end of all of this. It is such a long, hard journey they are going through...all I want to do is give them the happy ending they deserve.