Friday, April 27, 2007

Adrenaline is Pumping!

Well, here we are. It is getting SO close to transfer time. On May 1st at 8am I go in for my updated bloodwork and ultrasound. If everyone out there in blogland could keep your fingers crossed for me - I would really appreciate it! I need my lining to be thicker than it was last week but NOT TOO THICK! If everything goes well on 5/1, then I will be transferring the following week! Of course the date depends on the egg donor and when she triggers. I took the whole week off of work so that it wouldn't matter exactly what day the transfer took place. I'll now have the transfer day and several days afterwards to rest up and let those embabies snuggle up in there. Eeee! I'm really getting excited now!

As for my cold, I am feeling soo much better. It really did only last a couple of days, thank goodness! Now I can spend my time getting my body geared up for transfer rather than trying to get better. I've been eating a ton of pineapple (I know it's a myth, but it can't hurt, right?), cutting down on my caffeine, eating less sweets, and trying to drink a lot of water.

This weekend I'm going to my parent's house AGAIN. My dad's birthday is May 1st (yes, the day of my b/w and u/s - I hope that's a good sign!) so we are getting together Saturday night for dinner and cake. I'm also hoping to take Shayla to the boardwalk on Sunday so she can go on some rides. When we get home it's time to really get that dining room together. Now that it's painted and Paul has put up some decorations for me, I need to really clean it and get it put back to normal. I'll post a picture next week - it's really coming along beautifully!

Well, that's it for now. I can't wait for 4:30 so I can go home and be with my baby girl for the whole weekend. Oh, and HI to M&M! Have a nice time this weekend and don't forget to beep at 91! <3

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

This is getting ridiculous!

I am sick AGAIN! My immune system must be out of whack this year...I have never been sick so much in my life! I was wondering yesterday if it was possibly allergies...I have the sniffles, my head is stuffy, my ears are clogged, my throat is sore, etc. But when I took my temperature and it was 101.5 I knew it wasn't allergies! At least I can say the fever is gone today - hopefully everything else will go away soon as well. I NEED to be healthy right now. I'm supposed to be transferring in 2 weeks! I called the clinic yesterday to find out what I could take - I'm only allowed to take Tylenol products. So I asked Paul to pick me up some Tylenol Cold medicine and bring it to me at work when he was dropping Shayla off at the babysitters. I felt sooo much better after taking that! I can honestly say I am feeling better today than I was yesterday. Hopefully this is a quick thing that'll be gone in a day or two. The worst part of all of it is that I can't be too close to Shayla - I really don't want to get her sick. It kills me not to give her a kiss goodnight (she has been so cute lately - whenever she's going to bed I say "come back here and give me a kiss" - she runs back to me the whole time going "muah, muah, muah" and then runs up and slobbers on my cheek). I can't wait to be better so I can get slobbered on again - haha!!

The good news is that I'm done with the Lupron shots. Woohoo! Although, in all honesty, they weren't that bad. And I guess I'm dwelling on the fact that ending the easy shots just means that I'm closer to the horribly long, thick, ass-shots I have to start soon. Ick. But let's be positive here - the thigh shots are done! Woohoo!

Sunday, April 22, 2007

I needed that!

After the horrible day I had Thursday I really needed this weekend. And what a great weekend it has been so far! Yesterday I went out to my parent's house while Paul stayed home and painted the dining room.

Here's before we moved in (note the ugly carpet!)
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New floor we put down
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Now the paint
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And I'll be sure to post a picture of the whole room once we do touch ups and move all the furniture back. I think it's going to be very pretty!!

Anyway, while Paul was working so hard on the painting, I was in Brick hanging out with my family and spending some time with M. I got to Brick around 12:15 and went out to lunch with my mom and sister. When we got back Shayla took a nap and then M called to say he was almost there. We met at Pt Pleasant boardwalk and spent some time walking around and talking. I really wish we had more time to spend together. It seems like we never have more than 1-1.5 hours to hang out :-( After he got on the Parkway I went back to my parent's house to have dinner. It was really nice. Shayla is even getting REALLY good at eating with a fork all by herself. It's so cute to watch her - I can't believe how much she has grown up! After dinner, "Grandma Denise" (my mom's best friend) took Shayla for a walk around the development. I was looking forward to the break when my dad said I wouldn't be getting one. He pulled out a flyer for a grill and told me we had to go pick it up - he bought us a grill!! He said now that we had our own house and an actual backyard, we had to have a grill. Woohoo! Paul is currently outside putting it together. Can you guess what we are having for dinner tonight? Yep, hot dogs, hamburgers, corn on the cob, and cole slaw - yummy!! :-)

Friday, April 20, 2007

Yesterday Sucked Donkey Balls!

Did you ever have one of those days where you just want to curl up in a ball and go to sleep? That was yesterday for me. I got to work only to find out the trainer called out a 1/2 hour before we were supposed to have a training class. There are people sitting in our parking lot waiting to be let in for class and I have to explain to them that the training was cancelled. Great. And I *know* he isn't sick, he just didn't want to come in. I was livid. Well, apparently I am not allowed to have an opinion on the matter. The personnel director sat down with me and had a 'discussion' for over an hour about how I care too much about my job and I have to stop taking so much responsibility. WTH is that? How can you care too much? How can you take too much responsibility for your job? I don't understand this. And after an hour discussion, I *still* didn't understand it. Whatever. We left it as I won't care so much any more. I guess I have to start being a monkey. Come in, do my work, and go home. That's it. No caring involved. *shrug* Although today I am saying shrug...yesterday was a whole different story!! And I'm sure the meds I'm on did NOT help.

Anyway, on to the rest of the day. I go for my repeat ultrasound and my lining is STILL too thick. It's the same thickness as it was 2 days before. How that is possible, I don't know. I've been bleeding (TMI alert!) for 2 days so how could my lining be the same? So I left the clinic in tears.

I got back to work and got handed a huge project that is going to take forever to get done. The woman that gave me the project has no clue how long things take, so she doesn't "get it". She is almost upset with me because I tell her how long it's going to take. Argh.

Needless to say, by the time I left work I was ready to curl up in a ball and cry. It was a horrible day. Horrible. Luckily, things got better after I got home. The clinic left a message on my machine letting me know that they made a mistake. My lining DID get thinner. Not as thin as they would like, but thinner nonetheless. The coordinator talked to the doctor and the head ultrasound person and they both agreed my lining was fine and we should go forward. Yay! I put Shayla down for a nap so I could lay down - my head was pounding from all the stress I had yesterday. Well my darling daughter wanted nothing to do with napping but she didn't cry at all. She laid in her crib and sang for a half hour. It was so adorable. Then Paul took us out to dinner because he knew I wasn't cooking after the day I had - hehe! We went to Friendly's so I had to get a sundae to take home, of course! :-)

I did talk to M&M last night and M was great about keeping things in perspective for me. He reminded me there is nothing I can do about my lining...I have no control over it. So we take it day by day and only worry about the things we can control. It's really funny how we are support systems for each other. After he reminded me about that, I reminded him that we need to stay positive and really have hope that the first transfer will take. But be prepared for the possibility of it not working and going into a second cycle. I really think we're on the same page on just about everything, so it makes this whole process a lot easier. And the best news of all - we're meeting up on Saturday! Yayayay!! I can't wait to see M again! Unfortunately, I don't think M2 is going to be able to make it - we'll miss you there Saturday! *hugs*

So, that's my day yesterday. Like I said, I am lucky that everything turned out ok by the end of the day. My mom gave me a motto to help me through the work day - "my give-a-damn button is broke today!" - I'm going to use it. Every time I start to 'care too much' I am going to remind myself that I don't give a damn! :-)

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Getting closer...

It has finally hit me that we are getting closer. A LOT closer. I'm so excited and nervous and happy. The excited and happy are for obvious reasons. The nervous is because I am *so* afraid the embabies won't stick the first time. I am hoping and praying the baby/ies take when we transfer. They need to stick with all their might!

I had my bloodwork and ultrasound yesterday. Bloodwork was good. Ultrasound showed my lining as "too thick". I had a feeling that was going to happen. My cycle should have started Sunday night / Monday morning but instead it started Monday night and even that was extremely light. So my first real day of this cycle was Tuesday...the day I got the ultrasound. They usually do it on day 2-3 of your cycle, so my results were skewed. I have to go back tomorrow at 11:30 to redo the ultrasound. *fingers crossed* my lining is right where they want it!

In other news, I might be meeting up with M&M on Saturday. Yay! I really hope we can sync our schedules so we can get together. I miss them! <3

Monday, April 16, 2007

LONG Weekend

I decided to take Friday off rather than wait until this week. I was just THAT tired. I slept for almost 12 hours straight! I pretty much relaxed most of the day although I did get a few things done around the house. I picked Shayla up early from the babysitters house and we drove out to Brick. We went to dinner with my parents and then my mom and I went shopping while my dad spent some time with Shayla. We stayed over and unfortunately for me, Shayla wanted nothing to do with sleep that night. I was up at least 4 times with her but it may have been more - I completely lost count. Saturday morning I got up early, fed Shayla, got her dressed, and then left to head back home. Paul and I were picking up new mattresses so my parents were going to watch the baby for me for the day. We got the mattresses, got the old set into the spare bedroom, cleaned the dining room, took a nap (haha), and got everything together to head back out to Brick. We went to dinner before getting to my parents house; we figured it's so rare that we get to go out, just the two of us, so we took complete advantage. We found out Shayla was very good for my parents during the day so that made me feel better - I know what a monster she can be!! We stayed in Brick Saturday night then left Sunday morning after stopping off at IHOP for some pancakes. We were very lucky that it didn't take us too much longer to get home; we were expecting it to take double the time because of the storm. Anyway, that's my LONG weekend of driving back and forth! I spent over 4 hours in the car this weekend just driving to and from my parent's house. And even more time if you add in the shopping trip, going to dinner, picking up the mattress, etc.! Ack!

The huge part of this story is that Friday night I was forced to give myself my own Lupron shot. Paul did not come to Brick with us until Saturday evening so I didn't have him there to jab my thigh. It took me about 20 minutes to get up the courage but I eventually stuck the needle in ALL BY MYSELF! It didn't hurt, of course. I get the same shot every night...nothing changed except for who was holding the needle but I was still scared out of my mind!

Tomorrow morning I have an appointment for bloodwork and an ultrasound to see where my body is. I don't think there will be any major news to report but if there is, I'll be sure to update tomorrow!

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Tired

I'm not sure if it's a side effect of the Lupron injections or what, but I have been exhausted the last few days! It's similar to the exhaustion at the beginning of pregnancy (and no, I am NOT pregnant). I'm sure it hasn't helped that Shayla has decided 1:30am and 4am are good times to get up for several nights in a row now! I was about 2 seconds from calling out today when I remembered it's my co-workers birthday and she's leaving early, so I have to be here today. Ick.

I have my appointment for bloodwork and an ultrasound on Tuesday at 8am. I am thinking about taking the day off work. I would like to go home and have time to clean when Shayla isn't there. It is very difficult to *really* clean when she's there. Yeah, I think I am going to do that. It would be nice to get some stuff done around the house. And nap. Mmm...nap. Hahah!

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

One down, 83 to go!

Ok, so 83 is my guesstimate of how many more shots I'll have to do. But I'm more excited by the 1 down part!!

Last night I iced up my thigh, pulled up the skin and fat and sat there with the needle in my hand about to have a heart attack - I COULDN'T DO IT! So I handed the needle to Paul and told him not to hurt me. Then I changed my mind and decided I could do it myself. I tried again for a few minutes and still couldn't do it. So I handed it back to Paul and told him if he hurt me, he would die. I turned my head and he stuck me. It really didn't hurt that bad. Why do I always make these things out to be so much worse than they really are? Anyway, now I know Paul can give me the shot without really hurting me, so he has inherited a new job. I'm sure he's thrilled about it - haha!! We'll see if I'm this happy after the ass injections start. ROTFL!

Monday, April 9, 2007

First Injection Day!

So today I will be doing my first injection of Lupron. Yippee :-P Seriously though, I have to call the clinic to find out how to give myself this shot. They never gave me any instructions, no instructions came with the meds, I have no clue what I am doing. Hopefully it won't be too bad *fingers crossed*

This weekend was fantastic! Shayla was in a pretty good mood the whole time, the food was great, and spending time with family was wonderful. We had a peanut butter chocolate ice cream cake for my birthday - sooo yummy! I got a lot of gift cards, some new clothes, and my MIL gave me her mother's engagement ring - it's about 90 years old and absolutely stunning! Shayla got spoiled - as always! She got about 10 new outfits, a ton of toys, some books, candy, a DVD, etc. My family is way too good to her!!

When we got home there were 2 packages on our front porch. One was the curtains I had ordered - woohoo! I can't wait to put them up tonight (and yes, they are going up TONIGHT). The other was a bouquet of flowers from my secret sis. She sent them as a belated birthday present - they are beautiful! Today I got an ecard from her telling me the drama surrounding my flowers and I just have to share because it's such a funny story! She sent me an ecard explaining that she had ordered pink roses to be delivered on 4/6. UPS stupidly decided to reschedule the delivery for today - A FLOWER DELIVERY!! She was so upset she called 1800flowers and they threw together a bouquet and delivered them to me yesterday. However, I should expect a delivery of dead roses today. I was laughing so hard when I read that. Wouldn't it be funny if I didn't read my email and got a delivery of dead flowers from my secret sis without knowing the story behind it? I'm sure we'll have a running dead flower joke ONCE I FIND OUT WHO SHE IS! :-)

Friday, April 6, 2007

Medication Mix Up

Getting my medication has been one of the most interesting experiences in surrogacy thus far. First, the pharmacy calls me on my birthday to schedule delivery. The woman asks for my insurance information and I tell her that they aren't covering this. She says that insurance will cover some meds for IVF, who is my insurance. So I give her my insurance information and she tells me that their pharmacy doesn't work with my insurance company. She is very nice and gives me the information for several pharmacies in the area and asks me to call them to see if they have the meds in stock and to do a test run on my insurance to see if they will cover it. Ok, fine. I get off the phone with her and call a pharmacy. They don't have it in stock, they would have to order it. I ask the pharmacist how long it would take to get in; she's not sure, she'd have to call to find out. So I give her my name and phone number and ask her to please find out when they would be able to get it in. In the meantime the first pharmacy calls me back -- they made a mistake. She didn't realize it was a surrogacy, so I was right, my insurance will not cover the meds. We go through all of my info and order the meds. Now the second pharmacy calls back and leaves a message (I was dealing with a screaming banshee child and cooking dinner) that they ordered the meds I wanted. WHAT? I didn't ask them to order them - I asked them how long it would take to get them in!! They call back AGAIN about 10 minutes later -- I guess she realized that she didn't have any of my information and yet she went and ordered this extremely expensive medication. I was still busy with the banshee child so Paul told her I would call her back (he didn't know the story at the time). I call her back and explain that I never asked her to order them, I asked her when she could get them in for me. She says "well, they will be here in the morning so I went ahead and ordered them". I didn't want to get into the surrogacy thing, so I just told her that I didn't have the script for the meds yet so I didn't want them ordered, I just wanted to know how long it usually takes for them to come in. So she cancels the order. Phew!

Now the meds are supposed to be delivered via FedEx on Thursday to my home. Paul works from home, so it shouldn't be a problem. He is only gone for 45 minutes a day when he takes Shayla to the babysitter. Guess when FedEx came? Yep, that's right, they came during those 45 minutes. Argh. So now I figure I have to drive out to FedEx that night to pick them up because I don't want to take the chance that they don't get delivered on Friday. Paul decides to call FedEx to try and schedule a time for Friday so that he knows he'll be home when they deliver the med package. They are very helpful and schedule a time with him for Friday morning before he leaves to drop Shayla off. A few hours later the doorbell rings - the FedEx delivery man came back to deliver the meds for us!! Yay for FedEx!!

Anyway, that is my med saga. In the end, everything turned out just fine. I have my meds and I am ready to start jabbing myself on Monday -woohoo :-P

And I guess I should get back to work. We are leaving early today so I need to get some things done. I'm going back to my hometown this weekend to spend Easter with my family. Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!! Enjoy your holiday, whether it be Easter or Passover. :-)

Tuesday, April 3, 2007

What a great day!

Today is my birthday. I really thought it would be a crappy day when Shayla woke up at 4:30am and decided she didn't want to sleep. Normally, Paul would have gotten up with her but he's sick, so I got up and rocked her in the rocking chair for about a 1/2 hour. When I put her back in her crib, she screamed bloody murder. Ugh. So Paul was extremely nice and got up with her so I could get some sleep. He put her back to bed around 5:40 and she slept the rest of the morning - yay!

Then I got to work and there was a present on my desk for me. Then another co-worker came in and gave me another present! Then my sister called to wish me a happy birthday. My mom emailed me happy birthday. A few more co-workers said happy birthday. I felt so special! A little later I'm working at my desk and in walks Shayla and Paul with flowers and cards for me. My hubby is just the sweetest!! And the Directors are having a meeting at the Cheesecake Factory today so one of them promised me he would bring me back a slice of Cheesecake later - woohoo!

This is really turning out to be such a great day! :-) :-) :-)

Sunday, April 1, 2007

Oops

Sorry it's been a few days since I've posted! I had a very nice weekend with my husband and daughter. We got living room furniture yesterday so now Paul doesn't have to repaint the living room (yes, M&M, it's staying pink - haha!). We are trying to sell our other furniture so we have some more room in the living room. We put up a few decorations, did some spring cleaning, went shopping, just had a nice, productive weekend. Shayla has been feeling much better and sleeping pretty well. Paul STILL has his cough, but is feeling better. And I feel great. Well, pretty much. I forgot how much I hated birth control pills. There's a reason I didn't like being on them when I was younger and since being on them this past week, I'm remembering what they did to me. I'm always tired, extremely emotional, and breaking out like a teenager! I just keep reminding myself I am only on them for another 2 weeks, so it's not much longer.

And just a warning in advance, I may not be posting much this week. Between the receptionist being on vacation at work (which means my workload doubles), my birthday, and Easter coming up quickly, I probably won't have much spare time over the next few days.