Yesterday Sucked Donkey Balls!

Did you ever have one of those days where you just want to curl up in a ball and go to sleep? That was yesterday for me. I got to work only to find out the trainer called out a 1/2 hour before we were supposed to have a training class. There are people sitting in our parking lot waiting to be let in for class and I have to explain to them that the training was cancelled. Great. And I *know* he isn't sick, he just didn't want to come in. I was livid. Well, apparently I am not allowed to have an opinion on the matter. The personnel director sat down with me and had a 'discussion' for over an hour about how I care too much about my job and I have to stop taking so much responsibility. WTH is that? How can you care too much? How can you take too much responsibility for your job? I don't understand this. And after an hour discussion, I *still* didn't understand it. Whatever. We left it as I won't care so much any more. I guess I have to start being a monkey. Come in, do my work, and go home. That's it. No caring involved. *shrug* Although today I am saying shrug...yesterday was a whole different story!! And I'm sure the meds I'm on did NOT help.

Anyway, on to the rest of the day. I go for my repeat ultrasound and my lining is STILL too thick. It's the same thickness as it was 2 days before. How that is possible, I don't know. I've been bleeding (TMI alert!) for 2 days so how could my lining be the same? So I left the clinic in tears.

I got back to work and got handed a huge project that is going to take forever to get done. The woman that gave me the project has no clue how long things take, so she doesn't "get it". She is almost upset with me because I tell her how long it's going to take. Argh.

Needless to say, by the time I left work I was ready to curl up in a ball and cry. It was a horrible day. Horrible. Luckily, things got better after I got home. The clinic left a message on my machine letting me know that they made a mistake. My lining DID get thinner. Not as thin as they would like, but thinner nonetheless. The coordinator talked to the doctor and the head ultrasound person and they both agreed my lining was fine and we should go forward. Yay! I put Shayla down for a nap so I could lay down - my head was pounding from all the stress I had yesterday. Well my darling daughter wanted nothing to do with napping but she didn't cry at all. She laid in her crib and sang for a half hour. It was so adorable. Then Paul took us out to dinner because he knew I wasn't cooking after the day I had - hehe! We went to Friendly's so I had to get a sundae to take home, of course! :-)

I did talk to M&M last night and M was great about keeping things in perspective for me. He reminded me there is nothing I can do about my lining...I have no control over it. So we take it day by day and only worry about the things we can control. It's really funny how we are support systems for each other. After he reminded me about that, I reminded him that we need to stay positive and really have hope that the first transfer will take. But be prepared for the possibility of it not working and going into a second cycle. I really think we're on the same page on just about everything, so it makes this whole process a lot easier. And the best news of all - we're meeting up on Saturday! Yayayay!! I can't wait to see M again! Unfortunately, I don't think M2 is going to be able to make it - we'll miss you there Saturday! *hugs*

So, that's my day yesterday. Like I said, I am lucky that everything turned out ok by the end of the day. My mom gave me a motto to help me through the work day - "my give-a-damn button is broke today!" - I'm going to use it. Every time I start to 'care too much' I am going to remind myself that I don't give a damn! :-)