Woohoo

I talked to MA last night for almost 2 hours. I miss our long late night phone conversations. I love when we get into conversations like that...they just flow so naturally, we talk like we've known each other forever. <3

Miss Maya Lynn is doing well - she's up more during the day and smiling away. She still doesn't understand this sleeping at night thing but she's getting a little better.

And the great news - we are probably going to be getting together on Friday! Paul and I are going into the city to see a Broadway show so we are going to head in a little early and have dinner with Mx3. Yippee! I can't wait to see them all again.

Of course I'll update with stories and pictures after our get together. :-)

Quick Update

I talked to MA the other day so I thought I would give a quick update here for everyone who had been following our journey.

Maya is doing well, although she hasn't quite grasped the concept of sleeping at night yet. Poor M&M are up every 1.5 - 2 hours with her. I hope she figures out her days and nights soon - it would be nice if she could get it all settled before MA returns to work!

I am still pumping for Maya. I promised M&M from the beginning that I would pump for 30 days. Well, tomorrow will be 30 days and I don't feel like I'm done pumping. I don't know if it's my way of keeping the journey going or just because I know how good the milk is for her. Either way, I don't want to stop yet. BUT I can't continue pumping like I have been. Every morning I get up a half hour earlier than I usually do so that I have enough time to pump, clean everything, and pack it all up to take to work. Then I spend half of my lunch hour pumping in the server room (it's the only room that doesn't have windows and has a lock on the door). When I get home from work I have to pump again. Then I pump at least 2, if not 3 more times before bed. And on weekends, I pump even more - trying to keep it every 2-3 hours. So, I talked to M&M about continuing to pump but cutting out the work one and at least one evening one. I will have a lot more freedom if I don't have to pack up the pump to take to work with me, don't have to pump on my lunch hour, and can go out to dinner without worrying about being engorged. Maya will still be getting breastmilk and I will begin getting my life back. It's a win - win situation :-)

So, that's our update for now. I'm not sure when I'll be seeing M&M and Maya again - I'm pretty sure the pile of frozen breastmilk I have in my freezer is going to be shipped to them. If we come up with a date to get together, I'll be sure to let you all know!

More Maya Pictures!

So yesterday we spent part of the day with M&M and Maya. MA made us a fabulous lunch and yummmmmmy dessert. Then we hung out for awhile, took pictures, and pretty much just enjoyed each other's company. <3

Here's some pictures of the beautiful girl. The first few are Maya chillin' on my chest and the last few are Maya with her proud daddies!

Woohoo!

We are going to the city on Sunday to see M&M and bring Maya some more breast milk. :-) Of course I will update with pictures after we get back!!

In the meantime, don't forget to check out my new journal at www.mylindaland.blogspot.com - thanks!!

Tons of Maya Pictures!!

A few of Maya and me...











Paul with Maya


Shayla and Maya


The beautiful girl




M&M, Maya, and me


M&M, Maya, Shayla, and me

On to the next chapter...

If you feel compelled to continue following my life, you can hop on over to www.mylindaland.blogspot.com and watch for updates on me!!

And yes, I will continue to post updates and pictures of Maya here for everyone who has been following this amazing journey!

Birth Story and Pictures

The Birth of Maya Lynn

At 9am on Saturday, January 26, 2008 I checked in to Lower Bucks Hospital to have my water broken. By the time they broke my water it was 9:45am. Dr. B informed me that I was almost at 5cm and was hopeful that this VBAC would progress well. Over the next hour or so, M&M and Ness (my doula) came in. We sat in the room hoping that the contractions would start on their own. Paul, Ness, and I played a few games of Uno to try and pass the time while waiting for my body to do what it was supposed to do.

Around 1:30pm, I was still having very few contractions and even the ones I was having were not really showing on the monitors. Dr. B checked me only to find I was still at 5cm. It was then that it was decided I had to receive drugs to induce labor. A little before 2pm I was started on a low dose of Pitocin. After about a half hour they raised the dosage, hoping to really get the contractions started. After the dosage was kicked up I started to feel the contractions working. Lying in bed was no longer comfortable for me so Ness helped me get onto the birthing ball and reminded me to breathe through the contractions. It seems like not too much longer that even sitting on the birthing ball was painful. I’m sure it was at least an hour, if not more, but at this point I wasn’t looking at the clock. Somewhere in there I think the nurse upped the Pit dosage again but I’m not completely sure. Ness put the birthing ball on the bed, she then had me stand to the side of the bed and lean over the birthing ball. That helped for a little while and then it was time to break out the big guns – the rice sock, the cold wash cloths, the massaging techniques, etc. Paul and Ness were by my side doing whatever was necessary to get me through each contraction. There were a few times I looked over at the monitor and saw my contractions through the roof and lasting for-e-ver. It was so painful but I was ok with it because I knew it was my body doing what it had to do. After awhile I started to feel nauseous and made sure everyone knew what was coming next. Yep, I tossed my guts right into the garbage can while leaning over the birthing ball. As upset as I was at this point, I kept reminding myself that all the pain was worth it…that throwing up was a great sign and meant I was getting close.

At 6:30pm Dr. B. checked me to find I was only at 7cm. That was when I lost it. I couldn’t do this. I had labored for 4.5 hours with no meds, I was in excruciating pain, I had vomited everywhere, and I had only gotten 2cm. How on earth was I going to continue doing this for another 3cm?? I really didn’t want to get an epidural so I asked for IV drugs. They brought in a shot of Nubain to try and help ease the pain. The only real downside to getting the drugs was that I was no longer allowed out of bed. The Nubain helped me relax a little between each contraction, unfortunately it did nothing for the actual contractions. And now they were even worse because I wasn’t allowed out of bed. That’s when I gave in and asked for the epidural. I was so disappointed in myself at that point. I felt like such a huge failure…before this I was determined to do this naturally and now because I had gotten the IV drugs there was no way I was going to be able to do it without the epi. Getting the epi was much better than when I had gotten it with my daughter. This time they allowed Paul and Ness to stay in the room with me, which made me feel much more comfortable.

After getting the epidural I decided to lay down and try to get some rest. A few hours later the nurse checked me and found that I was 9cm and getting really close. She didn’t want to make me push until I was feeling the urge so she told me to lay there and relax for awhile and they would check me again in a few hours. They checked me at 11:30pm and I was almost complete; I had a small lip left but they felt I could push past it. So, at 11:45pm we started pushing. This is where it all starts getting blurry. I couldn’t tell you how long it was before I started pushing from my side or when I went back to laying on my back or when the nurse pulled out the bars for me to hold onto or when everyone in the room got excited because you could see little Maya’s head as I was pushing. All I know is that I was pushing with all my might and felt like I was getting absolutely nowhere. The nurse assured me that I was doing well but things were looking bleak for my VBAC. At 2:00am Dr. B came in and said that we just hadn’t made enough progress. I got upset and he said he would give me another half hour to see where I could get. I spent that next half hour pushing harder than I ever thought possible. Unfortunately, it didn’t do enough. Dr. B. checked where I was again at 2:30am and I had made no progress. At that point it was obvious that we needed to do a c-section. I was so disappointed. I felt like there was something wrong with me. This is exactly what happened with my daughter - I pushed for hours only to find that I didn’t do enough and had to have a c-section. At least with my daughter there was an excuse – my epidural was still really strong and I couldn’t feel anything. But this time I could feel it. I could feel exactly where I was pushing. I could feel the burning as she got closer. So why could I not push her out? What was wrong with me? That was all I could think about.

My epidural had been turned off so I was in a lot of pain, feeling each contraction more than the last. Paul felt so bad for me so he went to beg the nurse to do something. She said the anesthesiologist was giving someone an epidural so there was nothing they could do. It seemed like FOREVER before they started getting me ready for the c/s. Finally, the anesthesiologist came in and shot my epidural with some drug that made me feel much better. I did get a really nasty side effect from the meds though – I started shaking uncontrollably. It lasted the whole time they were wheeling me into the OR, while they moved me to the table, while they were getting me prepped, pretty much as long as I can remember. I do remember being concerned about them performing surgery on me while I was shaking but next thing I knew I was off in la-la land. When I woke up a few minutes later Paul was next to me and the surgery had been started. I was no longer shaking, so I assume they had given me something to stop it. I kept drifting in and out and it seemed like an eternity before I heard the beautiful screams of a very upset baby. I remember overhearing the nurses and doctors all commenting on how big she was and guessing weights – some guessing as high as 12lbs. I thought I was hearing them wrong but I was then told she was 10lbs even. Then Dr. B. peaks over the curtain at me and says “There was no way you were getting that baby out the natural way. You did a great job getting as far as you did, I’m proud of you”. That made me feel better. Knowing that Maya not coming via VBAC wasn’t actually my fault. I really did do the best that I could. The rest of the time was feeling a ton of pressure and pulling and tugging. I remember feeling some pain at one point and then the anesthesiologist gave me more meds to put me into la-la land again.

So, that’s my recollection of the birth of Maya Lynn, who came into this world at 4:22am on January 27th, 2008 at 10lbs and 22 inches long. While I did put myself through a long day of labor and pushing only to have a c-section, I can honestly say I wouldn’t change it. I’m glad I was able to labor as long as I was. I’m glad I was able to push as long as I could. I’m proud of myself for getting as far as I did. You have to understand, I’m a wuss when it comes to pain so accomplishing what I did is no small feat.

M&M are beyond thrilled. They love that little girl more than life itself. I love talking to them right now because you can just hear the joy in their voices. She is going to be one spoiled little girl!!

And now, pictures!

Told you she was a big one!


Maya and me in the hospy (excuse the way I look - I'm puffy and gross from all that pushing!)


And a few pictures the proud daddies have sent to me!

Welcome Maya Lynn!

Where has my brain been? I haven't updated here since Maya was born! I'm not going to go into the whole thing right now as I have a long birth story all typed out on my other computer but...she's here!!

Unfortunately, the VBAC didn't go as planned - I did wind up having her via c-section on January 27, 2008 at 4:22am. Maya was a whopping 10lbs and 22inches long - no wonder I wound up with a c-section!!

M&M are thrilled and make such great daddies. <3

I've been pumping breastmilk for Maya and apparently she loves it - haha!!

I have to say this has been one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. I feel so fulfilled, I can't even describe it. I wish I could do this 100 more times. Obviously my body won't allow for that but it would be nice to have this feeling last forever.

I have to thank everyone who has been there for me through all of this:

Paul - thank you for being such a wonderful, supportive husband. I know you made a LOT of sacrifices for me this past year and I really appreciate it. Not many men would agree to put themselves and their family through something like this - I know you agreed to it because you knew how much it meant to me. Thank you for that. Thank you for everything. <3

Shayla - I know you don't understand because you are only 2 but you have sacrificed a lot during this whole journey. Especially now, after the c-section, when I can't pick you up and you can't jump and play on me like you want to. I promise everything will be back to normal soon.

My family - Thank you all for supporting me this past year. I know when I originally told you what I was doing you all thought I was crazy but you came through and supported me anyway. I am grateful to have all of you in my life.

My friends - Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. This whole experience would have been very different if I didn't have you all there supporting me and cheering me on. You all mean so much to me.

Ness - my doula, my friend. Thank you for being you. I know for a fact I would not have been able to accomplish what I did that day if you weren't by my side. I love you.

Dr. Belder and the nurses at Lower Bucks Hospital (especially Renee, my L&D nurse) - Thank you all for believing in me. I was determined to have a great labor and delivery and a lot of that determination was because you all knew I could do it. I truly felt like we were a team and that made a huge difference in how I handled everything that day. I will never forget you.

I will be posting my birth story either today or tomorrow. After that I will continue to update every now and then with pictures or stories about Maya Lynn. Although my surrogacy is over, the journey isn't. This was just Chapter 1 in the book of little Maya's life. <3

It's Eviction Day!

I was really, really hoping my body would do this on it's own before today but no such luck. So I am leaving in about 10 minutes to go to the hospital to have my water broken.

WISH ME LUCK!!!

I won't be pregnant forever!

I went to the doctor yesterday for my full term checkup. I am still 3cm, although he said I'm a bigger 3cm now...he could stretch me to 4cm if he really tried (ouch!!). I gained 2 lbs, the baby's heart rate was perfect, and my blood pressure was great.

Now to the icky part - obviously the doc wants to break my water to induce and I would like to avoid that. Well, he called the hospital to try and schedule me to have my water broken on Saturday but they told him no. So he schedules me for Friday at 6am. So I did what any woman in my situation would do - I cried. Ok, I didn't sob but I definitely had tears in my eyes and asked him why we had to do it so soon and couldn't it please wait until next week? So he tells me that the doctor I really want to deliver Baby M (from here on out known as Dr. Niceguy) is on call Monday so they can schedule me for then. I go into his office with him and he calls the hospital - they can't do Monday because they already have 3 inductions scheduled. Dr. Niceguy happens to walk in the office in the middle of the conversation and asks me why I don't want to do Saturday. I tell him that Saturday would be ok but the hospital wasn't allowing any inductions that day. So he tells me to come in on Saturday at 9am if I haven't gone into labor yet. But I have to lie - haha! I have to tell the hospital that I had been having contractions and major back pains and I think I'm in labor. When they hook me up to the monitors and find that I'm not in labor they will ask Dr. Niceguy what they should do. He's going to tell them to admit me and break my water since I'm due anyway.

The bad news is that I didn't get the whole weekend like I asked for. The good news is that they are at least giving me a couple of days to get labor started naturally. And the great news is that if I do wind up being induced, Dr. Niceguy is the one on call. Basically, I'm ok with going into labor any time tonight into Saturday morning. I know Dr Niceguy is on call tomorrow morning (so probably overnight as well) and I know MY doctor is on call tomorrow afternoon. And obviously Dr. Niceguy is on call Saturday since he'll be the one inducing me. Because they didn't tell me any options for today, I am going to assume that Dr. Csectionlady is on duty today so let's all hope I DON'T go into labor today!!

So that's it. One way or the other, M&M will be holding their baby girl by the end of the weekend <3

STILL waiting!

My doctor checked me on Thursday and I was STILL 3cm! This is just crazy!! So he stripped my membranes hoping to get something moving for me.

On Saturday evening I started having contractions, but they were 7-9 minutes apart. I took a shower and headed off to bed hoping to get some sleep before the tough ones kicked in. Of course I really didn't sleep, I kept watching the clock to time the contractions. By 2am they were about 5-6 minutes apart but still weren't very strong. I think I dozed off for a little while because next thing I knew it was 3am and the contractions were weaker and slowing down quite a bit. :-(

So, here I am - almost 3 weeks since I was told that I was 3cm dilated and still no baby for M&M! I know they are getting sooo anxious. I wish I had some control over this. I've tried having chats with Baby M to convince her to come out but she doesn't want to listen.

My biggest concern at this point is that my OB told me from the beginning that he wouldn't let me go past my due date because I'm VBACing. So I know at my appointment tomorrow he is going to try and talk me into having my water broken. I'm going to see if he'll make a deal with me - strip my membranes again and give me the weekend. If I don't go into labor on my own then I'll agree to check into the hospital on Monday to have my water broken. Oy, I wish this little girl would just decide to come on her own!!

Nothing, nothing, and nothing

Yep, that's been the last few days. I've had a few sporadic contractions, nothing that would make me think labor is about to start though. Other than being a little more tired than usual, I'm feeling fine.

I've done everything to try and get this little girl to come out and play - I've ate spicy food, ate chinese food, shaved my legs, you name it, I've pretty much tried it - except for castor oil - that's just gross!!

The only really good thing about her deciding not to come on Saturday is that M&M got word on Monday from their attorney that the PBO (pre-birth order) was signed by the judge - yippee!! This means that M&M will be listed on the birth certificate as her legal parents :-)

So, that's my update for now. I'll post again tomorrow after my doctor's appointment!

Long weekend!

So I had another doctor's appointment on Thursday. Nothing fantastic - blood pressure was great, baby's heart rate was perfect, still 3cm and 80% effaced. Doctor told me again how great he thinks my delivery will be because of my progress without any labor. He then tells me that he does not expect me to make it to the following weeks appointment. Wahoo!

Fast forward to Friday night somewhere between 11:30 and midnight. I'm getting contractions and they are 8-9 minutes apart. I decide after a few hours of timing them that I have to try and get some sleep. Yeah, that's funny. I do manage to get a good hour, maybe 2 tops (although Paul doesn't think I got anything more than an hour) before the contrax start getting hard. So I go downstairs and start timing them again. 5 minutes apart. 4 minutes apart. 3 minutes apart. Getting harder and longer. Uh oh! This is the real thing!! I finally call M&M at 4:30 and tell them to get up, have a cup of coffee and head down my way. I wake up Paul and let him know it's time. I have a bowl of cereal and then call my mom to let her know that she's going to have to take my daughter at least for the day. Her and Paul decide to meet 1/2 way between our houses at 6am rather than have Paul drive the hour out to her house and then back. While Paul is gone I start to get nauseous. I call my doula - who I really didn't want to wake up that early since I am over 2 weeks early and she is technically not on call for me yet....and I knew she had been out drinking with friends the night before. She says she's fine, let her shower and get dressed and she'll meet us at the hospital.

We finally leave for the hospital somewhere between 6:30 and 7am. As we're driving out there, I feel the contractions getting easier to handle and farther apart. I tell Paul this better not be happening - I just disrupted so many lives, I better actually be in labor!! We get to the hospy, check in and get on the monitors. Contractions are barely registering, if at all. Great. The doctor tells me to walk for 1-1.5 hours and see if that works. So, my posse (and yes, that's what it looked like with Paul, M&M, and my doula all with me) and I head out to the halls to get in some exercise. They check me after a good hour and I'm still 3cm dilated but now I am 90% effaced. They ask me if I'd like to go home and I tell them yes because I haven't eaten anything since that bowl of cereal at 4:30 am and now I'm starving. The nurses all swear they are going to see me back there later that night or the next morning at the latest. Obviously they were wrong since I'm now sitting here typing this update rather than sitting in the hospital - haha!!

So, that was my weekend. I felt horrible for making so many people disrupt their entire lives but everyone keeps telling me it wasn't my fault. M&M stayed at a relatives house overnight just in case I went into labor again. My mom kept Shayla one more day for the same reason. However, M&M had to get back to the city today so they can resume their normal lives tomorrow. My mom offered to keep Shayla one more day to see what happens but I missed my little munchkin. Besides, who knows if this will actually happen tonight or tomorrow anyway.

I figure now that all of our lives are back to normal, I should go into labor any minute - hahaha!!!!

Major Update

Ok, I admit I've been a terrible blogger in the last month or two. I apologize.

Now that that is out of the way, I will update you all on my OB appointment today. You see, one of the reasons I haven't updated is that I haven't really had much to say - all of my appointments are normal, boring, everything is great type of things. Well over the last few days I've been having sporadic contractions so I asked my OB to check me today to see where I am at. I am 3cm dilated and 80% effaced. OH MY! I have a feeling we'll be seeing the beautiful Baby M sooner rather than later.

The good part of this is that my doctor sees no issues with my VBAC. He said having as much progress as I have with no actual labor, the baby being a normal size, and my pelvis being large (thanks doc, just what I wanted to hear) that he expects it to move quickly and be a successful vaginal birth...he is very optimistic that we will have no problems. Waaahooo!!!

I have another appointment in a week - I'll update you all then...if I make it that far!!!