A Journey Through Surrogacy: Birth Story and Pictures

The Birth of Maya Lynn

At 9am on Saturday, January 26, 2008 I checked in to Lower Bucks Hospital to have my water broken. By the time they broke my water it was 9:45am. Dr. B informed me that I was almost at 5cm and was hopeful that this VBAC would progress well. Over the next hour or so, M&M and Ness (my doula) came in. We sat in the room hoping that the contractions would start on their own. Paul, Ness, and I played a few games of Uno to try and pass the time while waiting for my body to do what it was supposed to do.

Around 1:30pm, I was still having very few contractions and even the ones I was having were not really showing on the monitors. Dr. B checked me only to find I was still at 5cm. It was then that it was decided I had to receive drugs to induce labor. A little before 2pm I was started on a low dose of Pitocin. After about a half hour they raised the dosage, hoping to really get the contractions started. After the dosage was kicked up I started to feel the contractions working. Lying in bed was no longer comfortable for me so Ness helped me get onto the birthing ball and reminded me to breathe through the contractions. It seems like not too much longer that even sitting on the birthing ball was painful. I’m sure it was at least an hour, if not more, but at this point I wasn’t looking at the clock. Somewhere in there I think the nurse upped the Pit dosage again but I’m not completely sure. Ness put the birthing ball on the bed, she then had me stand to the side of the bed and lean over the birthing ball. That helped for a little while and then it was time to break out the big guns – the rice sock, the cold wash cloths, the massaging techniques, etc. Paul and Ness were by my side doing whatever was necessary to get me through each contraction. There were a few times I looked over at the monitor and saw my contractions through the roof and lasting for-e-ver. It was so painful but I was ok with it because I knew it was my body doing what it had to do. After awhile I started to feel nauseous and made sure everyone knew what was coming next. Yep, I tossed my guts right into the garbage can while leaning over the birthing ball. As upset as I was at this point, I kept reminding myself that all the pain was worth it…that throwing up was a great sign and meant I was getting close.

At 6:30pm Dr. B. checked me to find I was only at 7cm. That was when I lost it. I couldn’t do this. I had labored for 4.5 hours with no meds, I was in excruciating pain, I had vomited everywhere, and I had only gotten 2cm. How on earth was I going to continue doing this for another 3cm?? I really didn’t want to get an epidural so I asked for IV drugs. They brought in a shot of Nubain to try and help ease the pain. The only real downside to getting the drugs was that I was no longer allowed out of bed. The Nubain helped me relax a little between each contraction, unfortunately it did nothing for the actual contractions. And now they were even worse because I wasn’t allowed out of bed. That’s when I gave in and asked for the epidural. I was so disappointed in myself at that point. I felt like such a huge failure…before this I was determined to do this naturally and now because I had gotten the IV drugs there was no way I was going to be able to do it without the epi. Getting the epi was much better than when I had gotten it with my daughter. This time they allowed Paul and Ness to stay in the room with me, which made me feel much more comfortable.

After getting the epidural I decided to lay down and try to get some rest. A few hours later the nurse checked me and found that I was 9cm and getting really close. She didn’t want to make me push until I was feeling the urge so she told me to lay there and relax for awhile and they would check me again in a few hours. They checked me at 11:30pm and I was almost complete; I had a small lip left but they felt I could push past it. So, at 11:45pm we started pushing. This is where it all starts getting blurry. I couldn’t tell you how long it was before I started pushing from my side or when I went back to laying on my back or when the nurse pulled out the bars for me to hold onto or when everyone in the room got excited because you could see little Maya’s head as I was pushing. All I know is that I was pushing with all my might and felt like I was getting absolutely nowhere. The nurse assured me that I was doing well but things were looking bleak for my VBAC. At 2:00am Dr. B came in and said that we just hadn’t made enough progress. I got upset and he said he would give me another half hour to see where I could get. I spent that next half hour pushing harder than I ever thought possible. Unfortunately, it didn’t do enough. Dr. B. checked where I was again at 2:30am and I had made no progress. At that point it was obvious that we needed to do a c-section. I was so disappointed. I felt like there was something wrong with me. This is exactly what happened with my daughter - I pushed for hours only to find that I didn’t do enough and had to have a c-section. At least with my daughter there was an excuse – my epidural was still really strong and I couldn’t feel anything. But this time I could feel it. I could feel exactly where I was pushing. I could feel the burning as she got closer. So why could I not push her out? What was wrong with me? That was all I could think about.

My epidural had been turned off so I was in a lot of pain, feeling each contraction more than the last. Paul felt so bad for me so he went to beg the nurse to do something. She said the anesthesiologist was giving someone an epidural so there was nothing they could do. It seemed like FOREVER before they started getting me ready for the c/s. Finally, the anesthesiologist came in and shot my epidural with some drug that made me feel much better. I did get a really nasty side effect from the meds though – I started shaking uncontrollably. It lasted the whole time they were wheeling me into the OR, while they moved me to the table, while they were getting me prepped, pretty much as long as I can remember. I do remember being concerned about them performing surgery on me while I was shaking but next thing I knew I was off in la-la land. When I woke up a few minutes later Paul was next to me and the surgery had been started. I was no longer shaking, so I assume they had given me something to stop it. I kept drifting in and out and it seemed like an eternity before I heard the beautiful screams of a very upset baby. I remember overhearing the nurses and doctors all commenting on how big she was and guessing weights – some guessing as high as 12lbs. I thought I was hearing them wrong but I was then told she was 10lbs even. Then Dr. B. peaks over the curtain at me and says “There was no way you were getting that baby out the natural way. You did a great job getting as far as you did, I’m proud of you”. That made me feel better. Knowing that Maya not coming via VBAC wasn’t actually my fault. I really did do the best that I could. The rest of the time was feeling a ton of pressure and pulling and tugging. I remember feeling some pain at one point and then the anesthesiologist gave me more meds to put me into la-la land again.

So, that’s my recollection of the birth of Maya Lynn, who came into this world at 4:22am on January 27th, 2008 at 10lbs and 22 inches long. While I did put myself through a long day of labor and pushing only to have a c-section, I can honestly say I wouldn’t change it. I’m glad I was able to labor as long as I was. I’m glad I was able to push as long as I could. I’m proud of myself for getting as far as I did. You have to understand, I’m a wuss when it comes to pain so accomplishing what I did is no small feat.

M&M are beyond thrilled. They love that little girl more than life itself. I love talking to them right now because you can just hear the joy in their voices. She is going to be one spoiled little girl!!

And now, pictures!

Told you she was a big one!