Woah!

It's been entirely too long since I've posted an update! Please forgive me!

I guess the first thing to start off with is my surprise for M&M a few weeks ago. I got them a 3-d ultrasound session! It was so much fun! We have confirmed she is 100% girl :-) Unfortunately, Miss Baby M wanted nothing to do with picture taking that day so the ultrasound tech had to keep jiggling my belly to get her to turn around - haha!

Anyway, here's a few pictures of M&M's beautiful baby girl <3









Isn't she beautiful? I can't wait to see her in person to see how much she looks like the pictures. <3

I had an OB appointment yesterday. Everything looks great - baby's heart rate, my blood pressure, weight gain, etc. The doc was even making fun of me because I'm still wearing heels. She thinks I'm going to walk into L&D wearing them - lol!!

Well, that's all you are getting for now. I'll update more in the next day or two. I promise to stay on top of this a little more!

Happy Halloween!!

Yesterday I had my OB appointment. It was pretty uneventful. My doctor had an emergency so I had to see a physician's assistant instead. She was nice, asked a few questions about the surrogacy, but didn't get too nosy. I gained a few pounds, nothing major. My blood pressure was perfect. Baby's heart rate was perfect. Really a good appointment.

I made Paul go with me because he has never been to the hospital where I am delivering. I figured since I was now in the third trimester, I would feel much better if he knew how to get me to the hospital - lol!

Last night I met with my doula. She's a friend of mine so I know I am comfortable with her. We signed the contracts, I paid her, and we talked about birthing options. I think I've come to the realization that I want to try and do this without an epidural. Oh my goodness, I can't believe I'm even thinking that. But with VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean), the riskiest thing is if you can't feel your uterus if it's rupturing. Obviously, with an epidural you wouldn't feel anything. So I'm thinking about trying to go natural but I will keep an open mind for IV drugs. They take the edge off without making you completely numb. I'm hoping my doula will be able to help me with pain management and remind me throughout labor that this is what's best. We'll see how open I am to hearing that when I'm in the throws of labor - haha!!

I have a surprise planned for M&M this weekend and I can't wait!! I'm so excited because I know they are going to love what I have planned. And of course I'm thrilled that I am going to be able to spend time with them. <3

So, that's my update for now. Everyone have a great day and enjoy your trick or treating! Happy Halloween!!!

26 weeks +

It's hard to believe that I am due in less than 14 weeks! This pregnancy is going so fast! I'm sure M&M would disagree with me on that one though - lol!

Here's my latest belly pictures:






Things have been fairly uneventful here. My mom is home and recovering. Thank you all for your well wishes. <3 I don't have many updates on the pregnancy front - my doctor appointment isn't until next week, my surprise for M&M isn't until next week, etc. The only thing going on pregnancy wise is Baby M kicking my insides constantly - haha! Yesterday I put my hand on my belly and she kicked it off. I figured it was a coincidence so I put my hand back on it again and she kicked it again. She did that a few times throughout the day. Unfortunately, she wouldn't play her little game with Paul last night. Oh well, soon enough I'm sure!

Sorry!

Sorry it has taken me so long to update on our weekend – it’s just been a long couple of days!

Saturday morning we got up and got ready to go. We left the house around 8:40 to go catch the Riverline – the shuttle train that takes you to the Trenton train station. Shayla was pretty good on the shuttle train – she just wanted to be switched back and forth from mommy and daddy the whole time. We got to the Trenton station and stood on the huge line to wait to get our tickets. By the time we got them, we knew our train was already boarding so we ran to the platform….but we were too late. As we were running down the platform the train started pulling away! Luckily, the Trenton train runs every ½ hour so we didn’t have long to wait.

The train ride was…interesting. Shayla was extremely bored so she was getting kinda cranky. We finally gave her a pen and newspaper and let her go to town with her coloring – lol. We got to the city and took the subway to M&M’s house. We got there and Shayla immediately ran to a chair that had some stuffed animals on it for the baby. It was so cute. After some playing we sat down to eat the delicious vegetable quiche MA had whipped up for us. Oh it was so yummy! Unfortunately, Shayla is going through a stage where she doesn’t like to try new things so she wouldn’t even try it. So she ate French bread and bacon for lunch – haha! After that I laid around trying to get the baby to kick for M&M but she wanted nothing to do with it! So I gulped down some OJ hoping it would help. A few minutes later she was kicking away so MA put his hand on my belly and she gave him one or two good kicks. Then MB took out his stethoscope to listen to her kicking. After that M&M were showing me all the clothes they’ve bought for the baby. Watching them get all excited over their great finds melted my heart. I just stood back watching them and how happy they were and it all made sense. Not that I’ve ever questioned why I was on this journey…but it just hit me like a ton of bricks exactly why I was doing this. They were just so happy. :-)

After hanging out at the apartment for awhile we walked over to the playground. We put Shayla on the swings and MB stood in front of her tickling her feet whenever she came toward him – she was laughing and laughing. It was sweet. Then Shayla became a big girl and started climbing all over the playground equipment and going down the slides. The only problem was the other kids on the playground weren’t quite sure how to share the slides with other children. They were climbing up while Shayla was trying to go down, they were cutting in line, they were trampling the little ones, etc. And the moms would just sit on the bench and go “don’t do that honey” “please stop doing that” “let that little girl go”. Do you think the kids listened? Of course not! They probably knew their mother would never get off that bench so it didn’t matter what she was saying! I found it quite rude…but it showed me the type of parent I want to be. Now I’ll be sure to teach Shayla some manners and show her how to share playground equipment. And when she’s older, I’ll make sure she uses those manners! Anyway – we then walked over to another playground which was much more tame. There were still plenty of kids but they were more Shayla’s age. And even the older ones had parents that stood nearby to make sure they were being polite and sharing. Our biggest problem of the day was getting Shayla off the playgrounds! She wanted absolutely nothing to do with leaving. Unfortunately, we had no choice. We still had to grab some dinner, take the train to Trenton (about an hour and a half), and then take the shuttle train back to our car (another half hour). So we got to Penn Station and started heading towards TGI Fridays to grab some dinner. I looked down and noticed Shayla was passed out in her stroller. <3 She really wore herself out with all that running around! So Paul and I had a nice quiet dinner (well, as quiet as you can have in Penn Station – lol) and then headed for the train. This time we were prepared – we had bought coloring books, crayons, and stickers while we were at the station so that Shayla would have something to do on the train. We got our train at the very last minute – it was just about to pull away when we got there! Unfortunately that meant a very crowded train and no seats. I had a very nice man get up and give Shayla and I his seat and he stood in the back with Paul. Of course Shayla wasn’t very happy about having to sit on mommy’s lap and kept trying to get up. After a couple of stops, a 3 seater opened up so we all got to sit together. Then we pulled out the goodies we had bought at the station - that kept Shayla occupied for quite awhile. When she was done coloring she kept saying nap so I moved over and let her lay down on the seat. She didn’t fall asleep but I think it helped her just to lay down for a little while. The shuttle ride was the funniest part of the whole day. I guess that laying down on the train helped because Shayla was wide awake and singing at the top of her lungs the whole time. The other people on the shuttle train were trying to sleep and kept looking over at here but there was nothing we could do. We kept trying to get her to shush, give her snacks to keep her mouth full, etc. Nothing worked. She just sat there singing as loud as she could. The guy across from us opened his eyes and started laughing at one point. I was happy to see that…I mean, what are you going to do? Get mad at a 2 year old for singing? Nah…much better to laugh at her.

So that was our Saturday. Sunday was not bad – we watched football most of the day. But then I got a call from my dad that my mom was in the hospital. She woke up with severe pain in her abdomen that morning while they were on vacation. They packed up and drove home and immediately went to the ER. She was admitted with gallstones. They wanted to keep her overnight because she was in so much constant pain. Apparently with gallstones you are only supposed to be in pain after eating, when your gallbladder tries to contract – not all the time. So I took off of work Monday to go be with her. In the morning we found out they were not releasing her like we thought so I hurried out there to see if there was anything I could do. They did a few more tests and found that she had pancreatitis. They think a gallstone escaped and got caught in a duct below her pancreas, causing her pancreas to become inflamed. The really bad news – they can’t remove the gallbladder until the pancreatitis clears up. The really horrible news – the only thing they can do for pancreatitis is let her lay in a hospital bed with nothing to eat and nothing to drink for a few days. My poor mommy!!!

Last night I talked to her and she was feeling a lot better. They even let her have some chicken broth and Jello for dinner! Yay! And it looks like they are going to schedule her for surgery on Thursday! Yippee!!

Of course, this does kill our weekend plans. We were going to a family luncheon on Saturday, Shayla was getting her pictures taken Saturday night, and we were doing a Breast Cancer walk on Sunday. There is no way my mom is going to make it to the luncheon, and I highly doubt she’s going to walk 3 miles on Sunday. I still have to get Shayla’s pictures taken – I’m hoping my mom can at least come with us!

The other big thing this week was Aria’s birthday. You all remember my friend who passed away during childbirth in July? She was supposed to turn 25 on Monday. :-( I had been planning on going to the cemetery Monday after work but I had such a long day with my mom in the hospital that I didn’t get there. I was sad but I know Aria would understand.

Camping Update and more

Well, the weekend went pretty well. Unfortunately, it seems that the terrible twos have hit us. Shayla knew exactly what she wanted to do all weekend and we weren’t allowed to disagree with her. Boy was that interesting! Sleeping wasn’t too bad. Friday night I had to go to bed with her (in my bed, of course) and then get up after she had gone to sleep. When Paul and I wanted to go to bed, he had to move her to her own bed. Saturday for nap and Saturday night we could not get her to go to bed so Paul had to buckle her in the car seat and drive around the campgrounds until she fell asleep. All in all it was a good time…I just wish she wouldn’t have decided to become a two year old while we were away on vacation!

Here’s a few pictures from our weekend:











Our plans have changed a little for getting together with M&M. MB has to work on the 20th, so we will be getting together on the 13th instead. I’m so excited! I’ve been having lots of talks with baby M about kicking nice and hard this Saturday so that her daddies can feel it. Last night she was listening and kicking me REALLY hard. Paul could feel it with no problem and I swear I could see my whole belly jump just a little bit. Yay! I hope she does that on Saturday for them!

Switching dates to go to the city worked out well for me. A few ladies in my family are having a little lunch get together on the 20th so now I get to go! It’s going to be fun having everyone together like that.

Then on the 20th in the evening, we are getting Shayla’s 2 year pictures done. We bought her a cute little pink and gray dress to wear. I hope she cooperates and we get some good pictures!

On the 21st I am doing the Breast Cancer walk. I should probably start some walking before that to get myself into shape! Just walking around the amusement park last weekend was killer – granted it’s a lot of hills but I still should have been able to handle it a little better. Besides, they say walking and exercising is great to get your body ready for labor ;-)

I guess that’s all for now. I’ll update after my day with M&M!!

Happy October!

Last weekend was a good time! I got together on Saturday with a few wonderful ladies from my surrogacy message board. We had a great time – it was nice talking with other people who understood exactly what I was going through, how I feel, etc. We had some really good laughs…especially at the room we were seated in. The restaurant put us in a large round room with a big round table in the middle. Sounds nice, right? Well, it was with the exception of the theme – it was Pope! The whole room was covered in pictures of the Pope and cherubs. There was even a Pope bust in the middle of the table. Ha – I don’t think he would approve of the conversations we were having in that room! Anyway, it was a great time and I really hope we can do it again sometime!

This week has been fairly boring. Mostly just trying to get everything ready for this weekend. Our big camping trip is tomorrow! Woooohooo! I’m very excited! Of course I’m worried too – I don’t know how Shayla is going to handle the whole sleeping outside thing. I hope she does ok. As long as that goes well, I expect to have a great weekend. We haven’t gone camping in a few years and I miss it. We’ll see how my pregnant butt feels when we get back though – lol!

I talked to M&M last night and we’ve made plans to get together twice in the next month – yay!! Paul, Shayla, and I are going to head into the city on the 20th and have some lunch and spend the day. Then on 11/3 I have a surprise planned for them so they are coming down to my house. Yippee! :-)

I can’t believe Shayla’s birthday is coming up so quickly. Paul and I were going over the next few weekends to figure out what we were going to get done around the house before her birthday party and we only have one weekend free to get everything done before then! Holy cow! My little girl is growing up so fast! :-(

Appointment Today

I had my 23 week OB appointment today. My blood pressure was perfect, baby's heart rate was wonderful, everything looked good. Oh, except my weight gain. I'm really going to have to stop eating those cookies - haha! Actually, I honestly think it's the bagels. I love, love, love bagels. I eat at least one a day, if not more. Yeah, they really aren't the healthiest things in the world.

I talked to my doctor about VBAC. She told me the risk of uterine rupture and what could happen. Then she handed me a form that I had to read and sign if I decide to go that route. The form wasn't really that scary - it basically said you are taking a chance by doing this but you have to do what is right for you and for every patient that answer is going to be different. It's times like these I wish I had some brass ones - I really felt like saying to her "ok, thank you for explaining the risks of a VBAC to me. Now what are the risks of a c-section? I mean, it IS major surgery, isn't it? Don't you have an increased risk of blood clots? Or how about for future pregnancies...does it get riskier and riskier for every pregnancy if you have had multiple c-sections?" Alas, I'm not brave enough to say something like that so I let it be. Besides, I have no problem with c-sections. I had one and had no ill effects from it...yes, the recovery was longer but it really wasn't that bad. I think I am just becoming more and more pro-VBAC the more the doctors act like it's not the better option - haha!

Anyway, after that whole thing I decided to call the hospital M&M and I had talked about using. I was so happy with the conversation I had with them. I told them I was a surrogate and they were thrilled. I asked if it would be a problem and they said no, that they deal with surrogacies and adoptions and all different scenarios all the time. Yay! Then I asked them about the VBAC and they were thrilled about that too! She said they love when people VBAC...it actually makes their day when patients have successful VBACs. Woohoo! Then we talked awhile about the bracelets for M&M and how that works, the birth certificate, etc. Then she informed me that M&M would be able to have their own room so they could have privacy with the baby. I asked her about payment for that and she told me it was a courtesy they give to parents in surrogacies and adoptions. Yippee!! Is this perfect or what? We also talked about my having a doula which they of course didn't have a problem with. Then I asked about tours and they told me we could just come in whenever we wanted to and they would give us a tour. Holy cow! My old hospital it was a scheduled thing...they did them every other week, charged you for it, and you were with 6 or 7 other couples! This hospital is amazing! I went on their website to get more info and they even have a whirlpool room for laboring! I'm getting excited now!

So that was my wonderful day. Other than the doctor being less than supportive, it was a great day. I got to talk to MA on the phone for awhile today which is something we haven't been able to do much recently. <3 Love and miss you guys!

Pumpkin! Yay!

Yes, I know I'm weird but this pumpkin craving is crazy! Shayla helped us bake a pumpkin cake over the weekend, Paul bought me pumpkin ice cream, and Jo at work brought me a pumpkin latte this morning. Mmmmm! I *love* all this pumpkin! Now if the weather would be more autumn-like I would be all set!

Thank you M&M for the cookies! They were soo good! :-)

Shayla's bloodwork all came back normal. So, we are pretty much at a standstill now. There is nothing more they can test for, nothing more they can do. We have an appointment with the dermatologist next month for a follow up but I'm sure he'll just say that her hair is starting to grow back in so we won't ever know why this happened.

Only 2 more weeks until our camping trip - I'm excited and nervous all at the same time! I hope Shayla is my normal happy little girl and doesn't give us a hard time!!

Autumn is here!

It finally feels like Fall and I love it! Especially because my huge craving lately is pumpkin - pumpkin muffins, pumpkin cookies, pumpkin cake, pumpkin coffee, pumpkin, pumpkin, pumpkin! I could eat it all day long -haha!!

And this little baby is kicking me to death from the inside! All day long - thump, thump, thump. All night long thump, thump, thump. I love feeling it and I keep telling her that her daddies are going to have to sign her up for soccer when she is older because she is such a good kicker!

And yesterday was Shayla's appointment at Children's Hospital. It went well...although we don't really have any more answers now than we did before. I'm going to cheat and just copy my update from somewhere else:

The doctor's at Children’s were so nice and very helpful. Instead of just saying "no, it can't be that" they explained WHY it can't be this or that. Not her thyroid because she is 50th percentile height and weight and she wouldn't be if her thyroid were out of whack. Not Zinc deficiency because her nails would be brittle and not growing. He also discounted the virus theory by saying the virus that will kill hair follicles would be accompanied by a very high fever generally lasting several days and Shayla hasn’t had a fever in almost a year…and that wasn’t even one I would consider very high. I’m not going to go into all the theories he discounted but you get the idea. It really was nice to have a doctor explain everything to me.

He asked a million questions and looked over her blood test results from the pediatrician. He said the ONLY thing he can come up with that hasn’t been tested for is heavy metal poisoning. He asked if we spray for mice and I told him no, but we do for ants. He said ant spray doesn’t have the same chemicals as mouse / rat poison so it wouldn’t be that. He asked if we had any access to thalamine – uhhh…it hasn’t been produced since the 70s, so no. However, his concern was that our house is so old – he said that something we had in the basement could have come in contact with some rat poison or something that had thalamine on it years ago. If we brought that item up into the house and Shayla had contact with it, it could have caused her hair loss. It’s a long shot but he didn’t feel comfortable not testing for it. The good news is if it was something like heavy metal poisoning she obviously isn’t in contact with it any more since her hair is growing back in and she’s perfectly healthy otherwise. The bad news if it was poison is that we have to try and figure out what / where she came in contact with it.

He said if this test comes back negative, he honestly will have no answer. He said this stuff does happen for no reason and it’s frustrating but the good news is that it should never affect her again in her life.

So we’ll get the blood test results this week and either have an answer or forever wonder why she lost all her hair and just hope it never happens again.

I do have to say though – being at Children’s was sobering. It made me realize just how lucky I am that my only problem is that my daughter’s hair is falling out. I almost felt like a baby with a petty problem after watching all those kids walk around with their heads shaved and staples going across their skull, with their trach tubes, with obvious chemo hair loss, etc.

So, that's pretty much it - by the end of this week we will either have an answer or not but we are at the end of the road for testing. Her hair is growing back in (and much, much lighter than it was before it fell out) so I guess that's what matters. If it wasn't growing back, I would probably be much more concerned.

And a big thank you to everyone who called, emailed, and messaged me yesterday. I truly felt all the love and support for Shayla. <3

It's a.....

Healthy Baby Girl!!

She's measuring right on track (actually a few days ahead - little piggy - hehe), the ultrasound tech said everything looked perfect - yay! She was moving around in there, bicycling her legs, and elbowing me. <3

After the ultrasound we went to lunch - we all had a good time. M&M were having a great time playing with Shayla. MB even showed us a trick to keep her occupied while we are waiting for our food to come out. They are going to make such good daddies!

After that we headed out to our weekend away in the Poconos. Friday night was horrible. My parents place only has 1 bedroom so we put the pack-n-play in there for Shayla and Paul & I were sleeping on the futon couch in the living room. Well apparently Shayla figured out how to climb out of the pack-n-play and then sat in the room playing for God knows how long before we figured it out. After we found her sitting on the floor playing (she couldn't get back in the pack n play nor could she get herself up on the bed because it's too high) she was overexhausted...meaning she would NOT go to sleep. We put her in the bed, in the pack-n-play next to us in the living room, in our bed, etc. NOTHING worked. We finally put her in the car and drove her around until she conked out at MIDNIGHT. Ugh. Luckily she wasn't too cranky on Saturday and we got to drive around sight seeing without too much problem. Saturday night went much better - we put her in the bed and put pillows on the floor so she could get in and out of bed by herself. She played for a little while but was able to get back into bed and go to sleep when she was ready - ahhhh, peace!

So, that was my weekend. It was wonderful from start to finish with the exception of Shayla's sleeping issue Friday night. Love you M&M!

Good Times!

My OB appointment last week went well. I met my real OB and I love him. He's very nice, down to earth, etc. He is fine with the surrogacy, fine with it being for M&M, and can't wait to meet them. He had a million questions for me and thought the whole thing was fantastic. My blood pressure was great, weight gain was a little more than I would have liked but considering I had only gained 6lbs before this, I really can't complain. The ONLY problem I had was that he kinda blew me off about the VBAC. I know most doctors prefer repeat c-sections because it's easier for them (obviously!) so I didn't like that he wasn't really into having the conversation - all he said was that they prefer repeat Cs over VBAC. So, that really wasn't any help since I'm leaning towards VBAC. Argh. But I have time for that decision so I'm not going to worry about it right now.

This weekend was great! My boss let us out of work at 1pm on Friday for the holiday weekend so that was fantastic! Saturday we drove out to Brick. My mom took us out on a Fall clothes shopping spree for Shayla - she got SO much stuff - yay! I found while looking at the clothes that Shayla is very un-proportionate. She is a 2T in the bottoms and a 3T in the top. She's husky but short - haha!! So trying to find outfits was an interesting problem because we couldn't buy things that came in sets. We wound up buying some stuff that came in sets and I'll just save the pants for next year. Sheesh!

Then Sunday we went to Paul's brother's house for a little birthday party for his mother. It was nice but I didn't really feel like I fit in - it was 80 year old women and a priest. Not exactly my type of party - haha!

Later that day M&M came to my parents house for dinner. It was so nice to see them again! Shayla was quite the entertainer for the evening. My parents really liked them and completely understand why I am doing this for them :-) We took a few pictures - I'll have to post one or two later. It's the first pictures I have of M&M with me - can you believe it? Almost half way through the pregnancy and this is the first time we got pictures of all of us together.

Monday we went home and did nothing all day. It was great. Actually, we DID go shopping but I don't consider that actually doing anything - lol.

Well, that's enough for today. I probably won't update again until next week. Friday is our BIG ultrasound but I am leaving right after that to go to the Poconos and probably won't have time to update here. We have no internet up there so no updating til we get home!

Have a great week everyone!!

Randomness

Well, I finally got an appointment for Shayla with Childrens Hospital of Philadelphia - September 18th at 9:30am! I really hope they figure this out. She's starting to lose all her hair in the back and on the sides now too. I want to cry everytime I look at my poor little girl!!

I have an OB appointment on Thursday. I'm hoping I have a little more time with the doctor this time so that we can discuss more things in detail.

This weekend is going to be great - we are going to Brick on Saturday. My mom, Shayla, and I are going shopping for Fall clothes for Shayla - yay!! Then on Sunday Paul's family is having a get together for his mom's birthday. After that, my mom is making dinner for M&M - woohoo! I can't wait - it's going to be such a fun weekend!

Then next Friday is the BIG ultrasound. This is the one where they take all the measurements to make sure the baby is growing properly. It's also the one where we can hopefully find out the sex of this little munchkin! My dad and I both think girl, my mom and Paul both think boy. We'll have to see who is right!

And that weekend we are going to the Poconos. I can't wait. To be up in the mountains with the birds chirping, deer strolling by, crisp fall breeze....ahhh! Makes me wish Fall was here already - apple cider, pumpkin pie, cool weather.

Speaking of great Fall things - Knoebels trip is the first weekend in October - yippee!!! It's a combination camping / amusement park trip. We are actually going to try camping - with me being almost 6 months pregnant and having a 2 year old with us....are we nuts or what? It's not going to be the same for me this year obviously - no drinking, no rides, no apple cider (the cider there is made fresh - not pasteurized - so it's not safe for pregnant peoples). But I'll still have a good time!!

I guess that's enough rambling for now. I'll update later this week about my OB appointment. :-)

Shayla

I just realized I haven't updated here on Shayla in awhile. We did go to the dermatologist and he pulled at her hair and poked and prodded her and said it wasn't anything like alopecia but he didn't know what was causing it. Could be stress, could be a virus, could be anything. Ugh. He said sit around for 6-8 weeks and let's see what happens. I waited 2 weeks and couldn't take it any more. I called her primary and made a follow-up appointment. We went in today and he's still baffled. He said that his gut is saying it's nothing serious but he understands my concerns...if it were his child he wouldn't sit around and wait either. So he referred us to Childrens Hospital Of Philadelphia (one of the BEST children's hospitals in the country). I spoke to them earlier and faxed all of Shayla's blood test results, insurance card, etc. to them. I am now just waiting to hear back from them to schedule the appointment.

What a week!

Well, last week was nuts! I went on Saturday to see my sister and the baby in the hospital and while I was there I started to feel sick. By Saturday night it was full blown - stuffy head, runny nose, sore throat, couldn't breathe type of cold. Ick! I was sick all the way through Wednesday - I wound up leaving 1/2 day on Tuesday and instead of going to help my sister on Wednesday I got stuck at home trying to get better.

Thursday and Friday were great - I drove out to Cheryl's house on Thursday morning and spent the day helping her with the baby <3 He's so darn cute! I went back to my parent's house Thursday night and hung out there (well, I went shopping because I was extremely bored at their house all night). Friday morning I got up and drove back out to Cheryl's house and stayed for a few hours. Most of the time we were sitting around talking but we got some things accomplished - she got to shower, pump, etc. while I watched the baby. Then it was back to my parent's house where Paul and Shayla met me. I missed them so much! I know it was only one night but it was really hard to be away from my family like that!

Saturday was my brother's annual BBQ. We had a lot of fun! It was very different this year though - usually there were very few kids and lots of adults getting trashed. This year there were tons of kids and less adults getting trashed - makes me think we are all growing up - haha!!

There's not too much to report on the surrogacy front - the BIG ultrasound was rescheduled to 9/7 because MB starts his new job on 9/10 and wouldn't have been able to come. It actually works out well because we are going away that weekend and having that Friday off will be great!

As far as cravings go - I had to have nachos and cheese for a week or two - and I mean every few days or I felt like I was going to cry! Last night I couldn't decide between having a banana or having an ice cream sandwich so I had both...together. I cut the cookies off the ice cream sandwich, sliced up a banana and placed the pieces on the ice cream, and then put the cookies back on. So I had an ice cream, banana, cookie sandwich - hehe!

Well, I guess I should get back to work. I haven't done much today and someone might notice soon - haha!

Welcome Baby!

My nephew was born yesterday! Yay! His name is Richard (or baby Richie). He's a bad boy and wouldn't turn around so they had to take him via c-section. He was born at 12:02pm and weighed 8lbs 7oz. My sister is doing well, although still very sore from the c/s. I drove down last night to see them but I had to come home so I could work today. I'll be going back tomorrow and staying until Sunday. Then I'm coming home, working Monday and Tuesday and then I'll be staying out there the rest of the week to help my sister. Ain't he a cutie?



Things are good with me. The clinic has stopped all meds - yay! Not that I was on much any more but it's nice to not be on ANY. Woohoo!

M&M sent me cookies the other day - they were sooo good! Especially the chocolate chip ones - those were REALLY good!

I have another OB appt on 8/30 and then the BIG ultrasound is scheduled for 9/10 - yippee!! Hopefully this baby will cooperate and give us some money shots ;-)

Appt Today

I had my first OB appointment today. Other than the fact that the doctor had an emergency at the hospital and was almost 2 hours late, the appointment was good. We heard the heartbeart <3 and talked a little about the surrogacy. She was kind of in a hurry because she was so late and had to leave for another woman in labor. I didn't get a chance to talk to her about a few things I had wanted to talk to her about but none of them are pressing and can certainly wait until the next appointment. She did give me the script for the BIG ultrasound, so I am happy about that. I was afraid they wouldn't give it to me until the next appointment and then by the time I could schedule it, I wouldn't be able to have it until 20+ weeks...but now it looks like I'll be able to get it 18-19 weeks - woohoo!

Things have been nuts over here in Lindaland. There was the horrible tragedy of my friend Aria passing. That knocked me down for a few days - of course I'm still upset and still have my moments where I can't keep myself from crying - but in general I am ok. I know Aria wouldn't want me to dwell on her death...she wasn't that type of person. So I'm working on staying positive and trying to keep a smile on my face. I'm also working on a nice tribute to Aria. When I have everything completed, I'll be sure to share it.

The other craziness is Shayla. She's losing her hair. Yep, losing it. She looks like a balding man - bald on top but has hair on the sides and in the back. I thought it might be from her ponytail but the doctor doesn't think so since he can pull on it in the back or on the sides and clumps fall out in his hand. He ordered bloodwork and we got the results today - nothing abnormal. So, we are going to see a dermatologist on Monday and hopefully get some sort of answers.

Just to show you how crazy this week has been - I did not have one full day here at work. Not one. Monday I left early, Tuesday I was out, Wednesday I worked a half day and then had to take Shayla to the doctor, yesterday I had to take Shayla to get her bloodwork so I was late, and today I had my OB appointment and was late. Oops!

One thing I am really looking forward to is this weekend. We are going up to my parent's cabin in the Poconos and taking Shayla to the zoo. I think it's going to be fun. Of course, I've been trying to bribe my nephew to come out of his mommy's tummy but he hasn't so far...so you know he's going to make his appearance this weekend while we are away, right? Hhaha!

Well, that's my update for now. I have to go pick up my daughter and give her hugs and kisses and let her know that bald is beautiful! ;-)

Today is a sad day

This morning my phone rang very early. It was my sister. She was calling to tell me a friend of ours had passed yesterday. A beautiful, vibrant, young woman anyone would be proud to call their friend.

It was a freak thing - a blood clot that went to her heart while she was in labor with her son. They took him via c-section and then tried to save her but it was too late.

Aria, we love you and miss you. You have touched so many lives with your witty personality. You weren't afraid to tell it like it was and that is why so many truly loved you.

I came across this poem today. I think it is beautiful so I wanted to share it here in memory of Aria:

Diana
by Rosebud
You truly were an angel
sent from God in heaven above.
Your shocking death just broke the hearts of everyone you loved.
When I found out that you had died
I thought that they were wrong.
You were so alive - and then
just like that, you were gone.
A flame blown out in seconds,
Confirming our worst fears -
A light that shines no more on earth
for which we shed many tears.
But still you are my beacon
And I need you right now.
You hear all the prayers I say
Because they are answered somehow.
I wish that you could be here,
But in a way you are.
Your symbol of a rose goes everywhere with me,
so I know you can't be far.
It still is quite a shock to me
that you had to die;
But no one will forget you
And I love you, and goodbye.


Rest In Peace sweetheart. <3

My Weekend

What a great time we had!! We left our house around 8:30 Friday night so we obviously got to Brick way past Shayla's bed time. She was in a great mood and didn't complain at all. We let her stay up for a little while so she could visit with everyone and we got her in bed a little after 10pm. She slept pretty well - woke up crying once around 4am but she tapered off and went back to sleep pretty quickly. She woke up Saturday morning whining "no, my shoes, my shoes" - haha! I said only my kid would dream about her stupid shoes.

Saturday we ate breakfast and played for a little while and then it was time to leave so we could get the train. Shayla was being extremely cranky so my parents put her down for a nap right after we left. She slept for 2 hours - good girl! Our train ride was uneventful - we basically spent 2 hours doing crossword puzzles. We got to NYC and started walking around trying to find the Kwik E Mart for Paul. After walking for blocks and blocks and blocks we finally stopped to ask a police officer. They had no idea what we were talking about but they knew there was a 7-11 on 42nd so we decided to try and walked back in that direction. We finally found it and yes, it was the Kwik E Mart - yay! We went inside and stepped into the world of the Simpsons. They had pink frosted donuts, buzz cola, and cutouts of the characters all over. It was interesting - probably moreso for Paul then for me ;-)

After that we took the subway to M&Ms place. MA met us at the station and showed us around their neighborhood before we went into the apartment. It was a great neighborhood - what a wonderful place to raise a family! We went into their apartment and sat in the living room while MA was finishing up dinner. Paul was being a typical dad and telling MA everything they were going to have to babyproof in the next year. What a brat! Then we sat down with M&M and MA's brother for a wonderful homecooked dinner. It was great - I wish I could eat more right now, I would have gobbled it up! After dinner we went to see a show. It was really good - made me laugh and brought me very close to tears at the end as well.

After the show we realized we could make the train an hour earlier than we had planned. But I told Paul - I was having a good time and didn't want to rush my time with M&M. We all decided to walk and just keep on walking - the night was beautiful, the city was beautiful, and I don't think any of us wanted the night to end. We wound up walking over 30 blocks - we stopped at the Lincoln Center, we stopped to get ice cream, and we talked alot. Finally it was 10:30 and we had to get to the train station - our train was at 11:07 and we couldn't miss it - the next train that had a connection where we needed it wasn't for 2 hours after that. We got on the subway and said our goodbyes before Paul and I had to get off at Penn. It's so corny but I didn't want to leave. I love spending time with M&M - we had such a great day - I didn't want it to end!! But it had to - I had to get home to my baby girl. We grabbed the train and took the obnoxiously long ride home (ever notice it seems to take longer to get home than it does to get there?). Unfortunately we got stuck on the train with a lot of very drunk people and had to deal with yelling, singing, and everything else you could imagine. We finally had a time when it was quiet so I laid on Paul's lap and took a nice little nap :-)

Shayla slept through the night and didn't get up until 10am on Sunday - wasn't that nice of her? She knew we didn't get home until almost 2am so she slept nice and late for us - good girl that she is ;-)

Sunday I finally broke down and went to get maternity clothes. I couldn't take it any more - safety pinning my pants, having all of 4 outfits that still fit me, etc. So I went and got a pair of jeans, black slacks, olive green slacks, a white shirt, and a pretty green and pink striped shirt. Ahhh...it feels good to be wearing pants that actually fit - haha!!

So that was my weekend. It was a great weekend and I can't wait to spend more time with M&M. Although I will be seeing MB tomorrow for our last clinic appointment and ultrasound. Of course I will update Wednesday and let you all know how it went. :-)

That's right - 2 posts in 1 day!

As promised in my post earlier today:

No more shots!

PIO - supposedly all done!! Wow! I did a shot on Sunday night and then went and had bloodwork yesterday morning (Wednesday). My levels were fine so they told me to discontinue the shots. They also lowered my estrogen again, which is great as I really, really didn't like the estrogen and the way it made me feel. So I go back for more bloodwork on Monday and as long as all is well, I will be injection free from now on - yippee! Although I do have to say, I am very nervous about it. I really was tempted to just take a shot last night to be safe. But I decided I had to trust the clinic - they are supposed to know what they are doing.

I did take a new belly shot the other day but I haven't gotten it off the camera yet - I'll have Paul do it today and I'll post it later. I've definitely grown some. I've had complete strangers ask me if I'm pregnant. I've had people at work rubbing my belly. Definitely starting to show. :-D

I am beyond excited about this weekend. Friday night we are going out to Brick after Paul gets off work and staying overnight. Saturday we are grabbing the train and heading up to the city to spend the day with M&M!! Paul wants to go to the 7-11 at Times Square because they turned it into a Qwik E Mart (or however you spell it) like the one from the Simpsons. Silly man! Then we are heading over to M&Ms house and MA is cooking a gourmet meal for us ;-) After that we are going to see a show - yay! It sounds like a very deep, dramatic play - which I *love*. Then we are heading back to Brick very late. Sunday we are going to get up and go to IHOP for breakfast (it's become tradition for us when we are in Brick to go to IHOP for breakfast on Sunday). Paul is going to take Shayla to his brother's house to play with the chickens and turkeys (yes, you heard me right, chickens and turkeys). After that we are going to take Shayla to the pool at my dad's job. We had taken her swimming at the pool in my parent's condo complex but they don't have a little pool for little kids and I really think Shayla would enjoy that. Then we are headed home after a LONG weekend - I'm sure we'll sleep well in our own beds Sunday night!

Speaking of beds - Shayla is *officially* in her big girl bed now. She hasn't been in the crib since the first weekend after we started the switch. It's still in her room as a reminder to her that she needs to stay in her bed or she'll wind up in the crib...but she NEVER gives us a problem about it. She loves sleeping in her bed - as soon as we bring her upstairs at night she jumps right in it and reads her story. She's such a good kid - sometimes I wonder how we got so lucky!

And there are a couple of changes I am thinking about making in my life. I'm not ready to divulge details yet but they are good things and I'm hoping they go through. I'll tell you more when I'm ready ;-)

Very, very bad girl!!!

I know, I know...I've been terrible about updating lately!!

First, thank you M&M for the beautiful flowers. They looked absolutely gorgeous sitting up on my mantle for the past few weeks. And thank you for the cards - they always brighten my day and put a smile on my face!

We had an ultrasound last Friday (7/6). MA came to the appointment with me and got to see the baby wiggling around and trying to suck his/her thumb. It was so cute! After the appointment we picked up Shayla and went out to eat. We had a very nice lunch - Shayla loves MA - it's great seeing them play together. <3

Paul worked on the bathroom remodeling for 4 days straight and had it just about finished when we found a snag - the mirror doesn't completely cover the whole in the wall from the old medicine cabinet - doh! So the mirror is back down and he's patching the wall and painting it. I swear I will have a real bathroom again someday soon....and when I do, I will post pictures!!

We went to Sesame Place on Tuesday. Oh my gosh, we had the best time ever. Shayla was very well behaved - especially considering she didn't nap all day! She *loved* the rides - especially Big Bird's Nest. She got to eat french fries and ice cream cones and have a special day where she could do almost anything she wanted. It was the best day - I cannot wait to go back again. We've already decided to buy season passes next year so we can take her a few times. It's only a 1/2 hour from us so it's silly not to go whenever we can!!

And things are moving forward with the surrogacy. I have my last clinic appointment and ultrasound on 7/24 at 3pm. MB will be coming to this appointment - I'm sure he's going to love seeing the baby now that it looks like a baby - haha!! I also have my first OB appointment on 7/31 at 9am. I have to go to Pennsylvania for it but they are right over the bridge so it's really not that far. I'm looking forward to a normal doctor's appointment - lol!

I am currently being weaned off the shots - which is great! I have been on them every other day for a week now and am currently starting every third day. My hiney is so thankful!! They've also lowered my dosage of Estrogen and I've noticed some changes in how I'm feeling since then so I think my body wasn't liking all of that medicine being put in me. I got more bloodwork this morning and should be getting a call shortly letting me know how my levels are and what meds to take from now on.

And I know I owe you all new belly pictures - I promise I will take new ones over the weekend. PROMISE!

Ok, that's all for now. I have to get back to work. Hopefully I won't be such a slacker and I'll update here a little more often :-)

Bad Girl

I've been a bad girl and haven't posted any updates here in so long! Unfortunately, it's because there isn't much to say. I'm still pretty much the same - tired all the time, nauseous (although this is getting better), craving weird things, bloated, etc. :-)

I guess one really cute thing I can update about is Shayla starting to grasp that there is a baby in mommy's belly. Whenever I ask her where the baby is she lifts up my shirt and points to my belly. Then she leans over and kisses it. <3

July is going to be one busy month. I'm off the 4th (obviously), then again on the 6th for an ultrasound. The 6th - 9th Paul is off so he can redo our bathroom. We hadn't been planning on doing the bathroom this soon but we found an awesome deal on a beautiful Victorian vanity because the model was discontinued so we figured we might as well just get it over with. Then on the 10th we are going to Sesame Place - woohoo! We had won tickets at an auction - we got 4 of them for $65 - so we (my mom, my dad, Paul, Shayla, and I) are all going to spend a day at Sesame Place - it's going to be so much fun. The 10th also happens to be our 8th wedding anniversary. <3 The 14th is Irish Night at the Lakewood Blue Claws stadium so we are going to go see the baseball game and listen to bagpipes and have a grand old time. The 21st Paul and I are going up to the city to see M&M!! I've already talked to my parents and they are going to watch Shaylabean for us - woohoo! Then the 28th-29th we are going to the Poconos for a weekend. When we were kids we used to go to this zoo up there called Claws & Paws so we are excited about taking Shayla for the first time. So that's July for us. We don't have 1 weekend free - haha!! But it's ok because I'm looking forward to all of it!

Belly Belly

6wks4days


8wks2days

Another Ultrasound

We had another ultrasound yesterday. Baby looked perfect with a heartbeat of 161BPM. They saw no evidence of blood in my uterus and honestly have no idea why I was bleeding. The baby is starting to look more like a baby and less like a blob - lol. One of these times I am going to remember to take one of the ultrasound pictures so I can share it with you all.

After the ultrasound and appointment with the nurse (which was extremely redundant because it was the exact same stuff she went over with me two weeks ago) we went to lunch at Saladworks. It was so nice spending the afternoon with M&M. I really wish we could spend more time together.

Oh, and I gave M&M a copy of the book "Your Pregnancy Week by Week". I figured they would really like to know what is going on with my body and the baby every week and that book is fantastic at explaining everything. I hope they read it the whole time and enjoy it!! I think I'm going to go get a copy for myself as well (I gave my copy away after having my daughter) so that I know what they are reading each week.

And I think tomorrow I will be brave and post belly pictures - eek! I took one at 6 weeks (which was nothing more than my leftover fat from my pregnancy with Shayla - lol) and I'm going to take one tonight. I definitely 'popped' a little over the last week or so. This is so exciting!!

Update on me

Everything is pretty good this week. Monday and Tuesday I pretty much took it easy and let Paul spend time with his brothers. The rest of the week I've worked, picked up Shayla from the sitter, went home and napped, made dinner and ate, and then Paul took over for me. I haven't been picking Shayla up or exerting myself at all. I'm still spotting but it's very light so I'm trying not to worry. Again, I'm just taking the extra precaution by putting myself back on lifting restrictions.

This weekend is going to be fun. We are going to Cheryl's house tomorrow. Paul is going to help Rich finish the nursery while Cheryl and I sort through baby clothes and maybe go swimming. We are then going to Brick to have birthday cake for my mom. We are all staying in Brick overnight and then spending Father's Day with my dad. It should be a good time. I'm excited about spending the whole weekend with my sister. I <3 and miss her so much!!

Monday is our repeat ultrasound - yipee!! MA is going to be able to come this time :-) MB might be there but we aren't positive yet. I hope so - I would love to have them both there. I would be worried about the ultrasound with this bleeding and spotting but I have been so nauseous and exhausted this week, I *know* everything is fine. This baby is kickin' my butt - and it's worth every second! :-)

Huge Scare Friday

On Thursday I didn't have many symptoms which worried me, of course. Then Friday I didn't have many either...but I had some really major cramping. I was really upset all day. I kept telling Paul to remind me that everything was fine. Well Friday when I got home from work, I felt a huge gush. I ran upstairs to the bathroom and found my pad filled with blood. I called the clinic and talked to the doctor who told me it was very common and it sounded like a burst capillary or blood vessel. She wasn't concerned but if I continued bleeding or needed reassurance I should head to the hospital for an ultrasound. I waited until after Paul got off work and we ate dinner - I was still spotting a little and I just couldn't get it out of my head that things could be going terribly wrong and I wouldn't even know it. So off we headed to the hospital. They were really great there - took me right in to a private room, had the doctor examine me and then rushed me off to ultrasound. The doctor said my cervix was closed but she found a lot of blood. The ultrasound tech was quiet for the first few minutes, which of course made me very nervous. She finally said "well, everything looks fine from my end". PHEW! The baby was there, heart beating away at 122bpm, had grown from my last ultrasound and everything. I've spent the last few days at my parents house but I've made sure to take it easy. Sorry for taking so long to update but I haven't been home because Paul's brother is here from Colorado. I'll be home tomorrow night so things should be back to normal in another day or two. :-)

Potatoes are my friend

Seriously, I love potatoes. Last night for dinner the only thing that didn't make me want to hurl was a big ol' helping of mashed potatoes. For lunch today I had a baked potato with sour cream. I might have more potatoes for dinner - lol! I know, I know - potatoes are not the best thing to eat because they are nothing but carbs. However, I think right now I am going to eat whatever doesn't make me want to puke. If that means I survive the first tri on potatoes, then that's what it means. :-)

I've also discovered italian ice. Ok, I haven't discovered IT - I've discovered it helps with my nausea. It was a trick the nurse at the clinic gave me on Monday. I was extremely nauseous last night so I asked Paul to run and get me some. It was such a huge help! I felt so much better after eating that! And she said the added bonus is that it helps keep you hydrated. Woohoo!

Unfortunately, there isn't much else to talk about right now. Nausea is it - haha! Like I told MA on the phone today - as long as I'm not puking my guts up, I'm not going to complain. :-)

Ultrasound

Today was our first ultrasound. Yes, I said first...meaning there are more to come - yay!

I got out of work early (took a 1/2 day) and drove to the clinic. I sat in my car because I didn't know when MB was going to be coming and if he would want to grab lunch. I actually sat in my car and played video poker - people musta thought I was nuts!! Anyway, MB calls me to let me know he's on his way and will be there right on time. I decide to go inside to pee and sit and read a magazine. I'm not inside long when he walks in - we of course hug and say our hellos. I then explain to him that I didn't sign in because they are so fast at this clinic that I would have been called before he got there. I don't know if he believed me until I signed in and the nurse was waiting behind me - she called my name the minute I walked away. We went back to the ultrasound room (which is entirely too small, by the way). I got all ready and the nurse had MB stand behind her shoulder so he could see the screen - meaning I couldn't see it. So this is all I hear from her:

Ok, we have one gestational sac. {moves the wand around a little more in there} And there's the yolk sac. {points to the screen for MB} Hmmm...we may have a fetal pole but it's very small. {moves the wand around MORE} Oh yes, there it is {points to the screen again}. And, we have a heartbeat! {points to the screen to show MB the heart beating away}.

YAYAYAYAYYAY!!! I was so nervous at the beginning of that when she was just talking about the gestational sac...I was beginning to wonder if we had a blighted ovum. I felt so much better when she mentioned the yolk sac! And of course the fetal pole and heartbeat were the kickers!

We were then sent back to the waiting room because I had to meet with a nurse. Of course this part took forever. We were waiting and waiting and waiting. Finally we get called back for the normal stuff - height, weight, blood pressure, etc. We go and sit with the nurse and she goes over all kinds of stuff with us - my meds, symptoms, ways to help with nausea, etc. She was very nice and was good with explaining things to us. She sent me to get bloodwork and told me to come back in two weeks for a repeat ultrasound.

So, we have a beautiful, healthy baby with a wonderful heartbeat! M&M - I am so happy for you! I can't wait to share this pregnancy and journey with you. And I am so excited for the day I get to make you daddies! *hugs*


*And on a side note, I have decided to stop using M1 & M2 - that makes it sound like one is more important than the other, which is very untrue. I will now be using MA and MB and anyone who knows them, will understand why ;-)

Uhhh...thanks

Thank you all for the positive thoughts and prayers. It's apparent that you were all out there thinking of me. You obviously all sent your positive thoughts to me. However, you sent a few too many doubling beta vibes. Haha! My beta on Tuesday was 778. Today it was 7,918 - holy cow!!! I almost fell over when I heard that. My beta went up over 10x in 3 days. My doubling time is something like 21 hours (it's supposed to be 48-72, slowing down as you get higher in numbers, not getting faster!).

The good news - after speaking to other surros and finding out their beta #s around the same time as mine today - my number is actually not THAT high. It just jumped up really, really quickly.

I knew something was up today though - the nausea hit me BIG TIME. I haven't been able to eat more than a few bites at a time all day. I won't complain though. As long as I'm not puking my guts up, I will be quite happy with all day nausea ;-)

Tomorrow night I am going to a silent auction and comedy show fundraiser for work. My co-worker's daughter is taking Shayla for the evening so Paul and I are actually going to get a night out by ourselves - yay! It's going to be the first time in a LONG time that we are getting to do this. Yippee!

Symptoms
Nausea - Obviously, since I just told you all about it.
Headaches - gone. Thank goodness.
Sore boobs - not today!
Backache - a little bit.
Dizzy / lightheaded - kept me up all night last night.
Exhaustion - see above about being up all night!

A little bit of everything

First, the shower pics I have been promising you all!

Cheryl walking in


Cheryl & Shayla (I love this picture <3)

These two are just because they are cute




My present to the parents-to-be


All of us inside doing the shower thing


The blanket my mom made


Rich being a good sport


If you want to see more pictures, let me know and I'll send you the link to my photo website!

A few things from today...

I spent the day in Trenton at a rally. The government is giving us crap for raises this year so all the non-profit organizations in New Jersey that work with the developmentally disabled went to Trenton to protest. We took the Riverline up and then walked the gazillion miles to the protest. We then stood out in the heat for 1.5 hours before my bosses decided it was time to head back. We walked back to the station and took the train a couple of stops before getting off and walking the gazillion miles to the restaurant my one boss wanted to go to (Catmandu for those of you who are wondering). Lunch was very good and I sucked down 2.5 lemonades while we were there (I was sooo thirsty!!). Then there was the walk back to the train and the 1/2 hour wait for the next one to come around. Luckily when we got back to the office we were allowed to go home (about a 1/2 hour early). Let's hope Governor Corzine heard us chanting in front of the statehouse so this whole trip wasn't a waste!!

When I picked Shayla up from the babysitter she gave me a very hard time (not unusual as she loves playing with all the kids there). I made a comment about her not having any friends at home. Sara (the babysitter) said "Shayla you should tell mommy to get working on that". I gave her a dirty look and said "you first!" (her daughter is 6 months older than Shayla). She got a twinkle in her eye and said "wellll" and the proceeded to tell me she was pregnant. I congratulated her and asked when she was due and she said January. This peaked my interest so I asked her when in January and she said January 27th. THAT'S MY DUE DATE WITH M&Ms BABY!! We are going to be going through our pregnancies together - how awesome is that?!?

Tomorrow is my final beta test. I don't know why, but I am extremely nervous! I think it's because the last #s didn't come back as high as I wanted. I still have all my pregnancy symptoms so I know I shouldn't be worrying...I guess it's just the nature of all this. There always seems to be something to worry about!! So I am going to once again beg for all the positive thoughts you wonderful people in blogland can muster up for me!!

Symptoms...
Headaches - still there although today wasn't as bad. I don't really understand how the headaches were better today considering the fact that we were walking out in the heat all day but I'll take what I can get!!
Sore boobs - yep. Haha!
Exhaustion - did I mention my day? I think ANYONE would have been exhausted! Luckily I did sneak in a nap when I got home.
Food issues - I haven't really been nauseous too much but I do get full very quickly. Like a half a sandwich completely fills me up. But then I'm hungry again within the hour.
Thirsty - Let's see, I am currently on drink #11 for the day. Does that answer that one? Haha!!

Drumroll Please.....

The third beta results are in - 778! I'm so glad my numbers are going up, although I was hoping for a number a little higher (ya know, hoping for those twins ;-) ). I go back on Friday for one more beta test just to be sure everything is all set and then the ultrasound is on Monday - woohoo!! I was a little surprised that they are doing the first ultrasound so soon - I figured they would wait until after 7weeks when it is more common to see the heartbeat - but I am not going to complain! The sooner we get in there and see that baby growing healthy, the better!!

Unfortunately, M1 won't be able to make it. He already has Tuesday off for another engagement and M2 is off all week...so it only makes sense for M2 to come to the ultrasound. I was a little disappointed but M1 reassured me that 1.) he will be there for everything he possibly can in the future (he even went as far as saying he will be there more than I want him too - haha!) and 2.) He is "with me" 24/7 - he is always thinking about me. Awww - doesn't he know I'm all hormonal and he's going to make me cry? ;-)

And I know I still owe you all pictures from the baby shower this past weekend - but I can't post them from work and I don't get on the computer much at home in the evening...I promise I'll post them soon!

Now that we really know I am knocked up, I am going to end each post with my pregnancy symptoms / cravings / etc. :-)

Headaches - right now this is the biggest problem I am having. My head is constantly pounding. I can't stand up too fast or I get dizzy and my head hurts. I guess it's from all the extra blood flow going on in there. I can't wait for these to go away!!

Exhaustion - manageable. I'm super tired all the time but I deal with it. I hardly ever nap (although I would like to!) and I generally get a normal amount of sleep at night. I remember with Shayla I was sleeping 12 hours a night and then napping for 2-3 hours a day. So this time around, not as bad.

Backache - there but not bad. More annoying than anything.

Thirsty - still have this but it's letting up a little. I'm still thirsty a lot but I'm not drinking gallons of water a day any more.

Sore boobs - depends on the day. Some days just walking hurts, other days I'm fine. Today is a fine day - woohoo!

So that's my pregnancy TMI (Too Much Information) for the day! Thanks for reading ;-)

Yay! I can finally say it...

I've had a huge thing going on in my life over the last few weeks but I couldn't talk about it here in fear of my sister reading about it. But now it's over and I can finally tell you all about it!

We had my sister's baby shower over the weekend! Phew! It felt good to say that - haha! We decided to have a barbecue / shower and if you know my sister, you know why ;-) She's a cop - she's not a girly girl - and a lot of her friends are male. So we decided to have a barbecue for the food (ya know, burgers, hot dogs, salads, ribs, etc.) and then we would leave the men and kids outside and the ladies would go in the house to do presents. After all that was over, we would have cake.

We had everyone arrive at 1pm with my sister coming at 2pm. My sister is *always* early so we left that hour figuring she would get there at least 20 minutes before she was supposed to. She had changed her plans several times - first she was coming up in the morning and cleaning out her old room, then she was coming up a little later and going to Costco and Kmart, etc. Every time we asked her what she was doing, there was a different story. So we really weren't sure how it all was going to work because she didn't have her day planned out at all! She decided to go to my parents and unload her truck, then she sat around and talked *forever*, then she went shopping. I finally called her a quarter after 2 to ask her where she was. She said she was shopping but would be there soon. I didn't want to sound suspicious so I told her I was bored, I didn't know anyone at the barbecue and she had to get there NOW to save me. Ok she says she's on her way. Thank goodness!! She finally gets there and walks in the side gate (we were all in the backyard waiting for her) but she decides rather than going right into the backyard, she wants to go in the side entrance for the house to go to the bathroom. So my dad keeps pushing her and says "I think someone just called you" to get her to go into the backyard. She walks back and can't figure out why everyone is staring at her and taking pictures - haha!! I THINK WE ACTUALLY SURPRISED HER!! You have to understand how huge that is in my family. For every surprise party, bridal shower, baby shower, etc. we have to REALLY surprise the person. And one of the first things Cheryl said to us after she found out she was pregnant was that we would never be able to surprise her. But we did it ;-)

She went around and talked to everyone while my brother started grilling up the food. Everyone sat around the backyard eating and talking like it was a regular barbecue. Then the ladies moved to the living room and we did presents and shower games. Cheryl and Rich got tons of great stuff and everyone had fun. And Rich was tortured by the ladies - we put every bow from every present on him. We also made a "daddy's on doody" workbelt for him that had masks, noseclips, goggles, duct tape, diapers, etc. in it. He really took it all like a good sport - I'm very proud of him!! After that we had cake and then it was cleanup time! They packed up a million different cars with the gifts and still couldn't fit everything so there is stuff at both my mom's house and my brother's house that they have to pick up this week.

It really was a great time. I was, of course, exhausted afterwards. By the time I got back to my parents house and got Shayla to bed, I was ready to go to bed myself! It was a long day of standing, walking around making sure everyone was happy, helping Cheryl with the presents, chasing Shayla around, etc. I think I sat down for all of 20 minutes during the whole thing.

I'll have to go through pictures (ours, my parents, my brothers, and my sister-in-laws) and post some later.

And on a surrogacy note - I have my repeat beta test tomorrow. *fingers crossed* for huge numbers!! Although if my symptoms tell me anything, we are doing just fine ;-)

2nd beta results

219! Yay!! We more than doubled in a 48 hour period - absolutely perfect!! And the great news - because my numbers have been on track and because of the holiday weekend, I don't have to get poked by needles again until Tuesday - woohoo! Well, I have to get poked in the butt, but not in the arm ;-)

Today we had a luncheon for work to celebrate Administrative Professional's Day (yes, I know it was a few weeks ago; my company is just slow - haha). We went to the Cheesecake Factory in Cherry Hill. Oh my goodness, it was sooo good. For an appetizer I had buffalo blasts and calamari. For lunch I had lemon chicken, asparagus, and mashed potatoes. The portions were so big - they gave me 4 pieces of chicken, a ton of asparagus, and a HUGE pile of potatoes. I didn't even come close to eating half of it all. And I couldn't eat too much because I had to save room for the cheesecake :-) Funny thing happened while we were there - I had ordered lemonade and when I got it, it looked like a margherita. They had put it in a big glass and put sugar on the rim. I knew it was lemonade so I didn't think anything of it. Well everyone I work with thought it was a margherita so they were all making fun of me for drinking while on work hours. If only they knew ;-)

Oh boy...

The pregnancy hormones have kicked in. It does not take much at all for me to get annoyed at people. I had a training class today and I got so mad at the morons that were in the class with me, I actually had to leave at one point. And every time I get snotty with Paul and he gives me "that look" I remind him that he knew what he was getting into! I asked him when we first met M&M if he was absolutely positive he wanted to put up with me being a b*tch for 9 months - haha!!

Another fun pregnancy related thing is the exhaustion. I'm sooooo tired ALL THE TIME. I wake up tired. I sit at work tired. I come home and take care of Shayla tired. I cook dinner tired. I watch TV tired. And then I go to bed exhausted. I forgot how much I loved the first trimester ;-)

And then there's the eating. The thought of food makes me nauseous. But if I don't eat, I'm nauseous. So I pretty much have to compromise and just eat without thinking about it - haha. Now I'm not complaining. Honestly, it's not bad. I would *love* it if it would stay this way for the whole first trimester (of course I won't get my hopes up for that!). A few food things that are different this time around: When I was pregnant with Shayla I craved sweet. Anything sweet - candy, lemonade, ice cream, etc. This pregnancy (so far) all I'm really craving is liquid. I'm ALWAYS thirsty. I will drink 8 bottles of water a day (and if you know me, you know how huge that is - I hate water) plus my morning decaf coffee, plus some lemonade, plus cranberry juice. Seriously, I can't stop drinking! And you would think with all that drinking I would be peeing my brains out but I'm not. *shrug*

Tomorrow is the repeat beta test. Because Tuesday's was 106, we want tomorrow's numbers to be over 200. *fingers crossed*

THE RESULTS ARE IN!!

I'm pregnant!! Yayayay!!! Of course, I already knew that but no one here did ;-)

On Saturday I got my first faint positive test. Like so faint I couldn't even get a good picture of it. So being the POASaholic that I am, I tested again that afternoon. Still faint, but definitely there:


Sunday morning I test again. Darker than Saturday's test. Now I am getting excited!


So Sunday afternoon I decide to test AGAIN but this time I use a digital test


The egg donor had asked me to tell her even if M&M didn't want to know. So I emailed her a picture of the test (I had to tell SOMEONE, right?). She responds back quite funnily - she's never taken a pregnancy test before so she has no idea what I just sent her but she'll assume it's good news. Haha!! After taking the digital, I sent her a picture of that. I received a response that at least that one she understood!! :-)

It was killing me not to tell M&M that I was getting positives. As added torture, M1 called me yesterday at work just to chat. I WANTED TO SCREAM AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS THAT HE WAS GOING TO BE A DADDY!! But I was good and didn't say anything. Then last night I see a user on my message board with a name that is an interesting compilation of M&Ms names. Hmmm...I wonder. So I click on it. From NY. No posts. Currently reading a thread specifically for my groups transfer. Interesting. Click on the name again a little later...reading another thread specifically for my groups transfer. Click on it yet again...reading a post I started about my positive tests. I *knew* it was them. They knew I was pregnant and I didn't get to tell them!! (Oh, and M&M, I'm going to get you back for that ;-) )

Anyway, the bloodtest was today. I got the call at 4:35 - right as I am picking Shayla up from the babysitters - of course!! My beta is 106!! Woohoo!! Perfect #. I go back in 2 days for a repeat test. Yayayayay!!!!

Thank you everyone for the well wishes, crossed fingers, and support you've given me. *hugs*

What a day already!!

Ok, so of course my heart is in my throat all morning because I went to get my blood test today. *fingers crossed*

Well, on my way to work from the clinic I got pulled over - for the first time ever. Yep, that's right. 12 years of driving and I've never been pulled over. I had taken Paul's car to work today (he has mine so he can get an oil change). We only got his car a few weeks ago, so it still has the temporary plate. Of course, my luck, the temporary plate fell out of the window while I was driving to work. The complex where I work is next door to the police station so there are always a gazillion cops around here. So, I got pulled over. Luckily for me, I got the nicest cop in the world (other than my sisters, of course! ;-) ).

So, here's pretty much how it went:
Cop: License, Registration and Insurance please
I hand him my license and dig through the glove box – all the paperwork is missing.
Me: I’m so sorry, this is my husband’s car and his paperwork isn’t in here
Cop: You know why I pulled you over, right?
Me: yes, and I planned on taping it back in the window as soon as I got to work.
Cop: And you don’t have any paperwork at all?
Me: No.
Cop: Do you have any points on your license?
Me: Nope – congratulations, you are the first cop to ever pull me over.
Cop: Well you are doing a super job! I’ll be right back, I have to check your license.
Me: Ok.
Wait FOREVER for him to come back.
Cop: Ok, I’m going to let you off with a warning since it’s your very first time being pulled over. But make sure you tape that plate in the window the minute you get to work. And get your insurance card. If I wrote you a ticket, it would have been $185.
Me: I know, I am so sorry.
Cop: And your plate expires tomorrow. Make sure you call the dealership – they are really bad with those plates.
Me: Yeah, and they haven’t even given me the pink card for the inspection sticker (DUH I just told the cop about another problem with the car!!!!)
Cop: Yep, that would be another expensive ticket.
Me: I know, my sister is a cop and she yelled at me for not having the pink card in the window.
Cop: Your sister is a cop? Where?
Me: Township of ********
Cop: Ah. Word of advice: That should have been the first thing you told me.
Me: I just felt weird saying that.
Cop: I know it feels funny but it would have felt worse if you got that $185 ticket.
Me: Very true.
Cop: Remember, first words out of your mouth should always be : MY SISTER IS A COP.
Me: I’ll remember that. Thank you.

Hahahaha!!! So that's my fun "I got pulled over for the first time" story. :-)

And of course I will update later when I get the beta results!!

Tomorrow is D-day!

Again, until the results tomorrow, there isn't much to post about at the moment (surrogacy related). So, I'll tell you all about my weekend instead :-)


Saturday I did nothing. No really, nothing. I played with the baby, went to Walmart and Target, took a nap, and made dinner. That's it. What a great day it was!

Sunday I got up early and went to a walk-a-thon we were having for work. Obviously I didn't walk (doctor's orders) but it was still a good time. I did pawn Shayla off on my co-worker's daughters, who took her on the walk and on the firetruck ride. When we got home Shayla and I both took a nice, long nap. While Shayla and I were at the walk and napping, Paul cleaned out the basement. Yay!! We also went out to dinner later that night. It was very nice.

All in all, it was a very nice weekend. Hugs and kisses to M&M - miss you guys! Hope things are going well with your parents M1! :-)

Heart Attack!

So immediately after updating my blog yesterday I get a call from the babysitter - Shayla fell and hit her head. She didn't cry and she's acting funny. I rush over there and my baby looks dazed and is very limp and lethargic. I decide to take her home and watch her. I call Paul and ask him to call the doctor to make an appointment. On the way home Shayla keeps falling asleep - I'm crying while I'm yelling at her to wake up. Paul makes the appointment for 1:15 - it's currently 10:45. I contemplate just turning around and going to the hospital but decided to just get her home so I could really watch how she acts in her own environment. I get her home and she's acting a little better. She's still not completely herself but she's better than she was at the babysitter's house. I decide not to take her to the hospital but to keep her doctor's appointment. I feed her lunch and she eats great. She starts acting a little more like herself every hour. Get her to the doctor and she's running around like a mad child playing with everything. I think the doctor really thought I was being an overprotective ninny but when I explained that she didn't cry after falling and the falling asleep in the car, he took me a little more seriously. He did a thorough checkup and said she looked fine. He told me she could nap after getting home but not to let her sleep more than 2 hours. She napped fine...just wasn't very happy about being woke up after 2 hours - haha. As the night went on, she got much better. Actually, she had me cracking up while I was cooking dinner. I had to gate her in the kitchen with me because she kept climbing on my dining room chairs (I think one head injury in a day is enough, don't you?). Well Boo (our cat) was playing with Shayla's plastic food in the dining room. Shayla was not happy about that at all. She was standing at the gate, holding onto it with her face pressed up against it, yelling at him "don't touch! don't touch!" - HAHAHAHA!!! THAT is the exact moment I knew she was ok. :-)

Limbo Baby

Well, there's not much going on. We're in limbo right now while waiting for the beta test on Tuesday. *fingers crossed* for a good, strong beta!

I am in the process of switching my shots to the evening. I'm on the last day of taking 2 shots a day - so tomorrow I am back to only doing 1 - yayay!! I am going to feel so much better not having to get up so early tomorrow. I have been so exhausted from all this getting up super early. Last night I couldn't even stay awake to watch a show after American Idol was over. I'm sure the shots don't help - progesterone is one of the pregnancy hormones that makes you sleepy - so now that my body is really absorbing it from the injections, I'm sure it's part of the reason I can't stay awake at night.

Not picking Shayla up at all hadn't been too much of a problem until last night. She was throwing a major hissy fit and kept clawing at my legs and saying "up mama up". I felt so bad that I couldn't pick her up. I tried taking her hand to walk her into the other room but she wanted nothing to do with that! So I called Paul and asked him to come downstairs and help me. He came downstairs and picked her up but that just made her cry more. She was so upset that I wasn't picking her up - it broke my heart. But I know it's all for a good reason, even if she doesn't understand that. And I think it's pretty good that the first time it really bothered her was an entire week after the transfer. I mean, she's wanted me to pick her up before but in general I can distract her with something else...this was the first time she was having nothing to do with it.

And since there isn't too much surrogacy related to talk about, I'll tell you all a funny story. On Sunday we were in Brick and one of Shayla's favorite things to do is to take a walk up and down my parent's street. So Paul took her for a walk and Shayla kept asking "what's that" while pointing to things. One thing she pointed to was some litter on the street. Paul responded with "that's litter. Someone felt the need to throw their garbage on the street. That person is what we call a scumbag". Shayla immediately responds with "scumbag". Uh oh...he forgot what a little parrot she is. Ok, no more saying things like that to her. Good thing she didn't say it again. Fast forward 4 days. Paul is walking her to his car in the morning and some guy rides by on a bike. The guy nonchalantly throws his empty soda bottle on the street. Shayla points to him and yells "SCUMBAG". I guess it wasn't a parrot thing so much as a retaining for 4 days and understanding that this is what we call people who litter. Crap.

That's my funny story / lesson for the day. Remember - kids are always smarter than you think they are!!

Today's Appointments

Today was a very long day. As a matter of fact, I am going to bed right after typing this up. *yawn*

I got up at 5:30am, showered and started getting ready for work. I then put the ice pack on my bum for about 15 minutes. I woke Paul up and he gave me my shot - WHICH HURT FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME. I think it was because he was still sleeping - haha!! After getting my shot I took my supp. and laid on my heating pad for a half hour. I then headed out to the clinic for my bloodwork. After having fun getting poked in my arm I went to work for a few hours. I then went back to the clinic around 1pm to have an ultrasound to check my lining. Then I went BACK to work for the afternoon. I got the call mid-afternoon from the clinic letting me know that my estrogen levels, progesterone levels, and lining were all PERFECT - yay!! I talked to the coordinator about changing my shots to the evening. She wanted to talk to the doctor about it to see if we could do it and if so, how we should go about changing them over. The doctor approved it and they gave me 2 choices for moving the time. First choice was to move it back 2 hours a day until I got to the time I wanted to be at. That sounds great but I have to work so it's pretty impossible. The other choice was to do 2 shots a day for 3 days - the first day do 1.5cc in the morning and .5cc at night. The second day 1cc in the morning and 1cc at night. The third day .5cc in the morning and 1.5cc at night. Then I can switch fully to evening shots. As much as getting 2 shots in the butt a day for 3 days doesn't sound very appealling, it will make my life sooooo much easier if I don't have to do this in the morning. So starting tomorrow, I will be getting 2 shots a day - wooohoo :-P

When I got home from work there were 2 packages waiting for me. One was from my secret sister - she sent me pregnancy tests :-) Now I have even more to obsess over - hahaha!! She also ordered a bracelet for me for good luck. Ain't she sweet? The other package was from M&M thanking me. It's beautiful tiered boxes filled with fruits, candies, crackers, cookies, cheese, etc. (I already dug into the chocolate covered raspberries :-D). I felt so loved today!!!

Oh, and as a side note - I will NOT be posting any HPT results in my blog. M&M don't want to know the results of any tests until we get the blood work done. We made a deal - I won't post any results here and they won't go to my surro message board so I CAN post the results there. I think that's fair (well, maybe not to all of you -haha!). If you are sitting on the edge of your seat and dying to know what the tests say, let me know and I'll tell you if there is any good news ;-)

Well, off to bed for me!! Goodnight :-)

Guess I need to update :-)

M1 came in on the train Wednesday night. It was quite the fiasco as Paul had gotten lost in downtown Trenton trying to find the train station (downtown Trenton is NOT somewhere you want to be lost). We spent the evening talking, watching American Idol, and getting excited about Thursday. It was a nice time.

Thursday morning we went out to eat, dropped Shayla off at the babysitter's house, then went back to my house so I could take my meds and get my shot. We went to the clinic where M2 met up with us. It was nice to see him again - I haven't seen him in a long time! We sat around the waiting room and chatted while I drank my 40 million gallons of water. Then it was time for the transfer. EEeee! They brought us in the back but had to stop us because there were "too many". Paul was a sweetheart and bowed out gracefully so that M&M could go in for the transfer. We got in the back and we all got in our suits (M1 did a great job of putting his on backwards - hehe!!). Then we went into the room. I felt kinda like I was abducted by aliens - in a dark room surrounded by people in white suits with face masks, everything seeming so secretive. I was then reminded just how long my cervix is when they had to switch to the longest instruments they had. The transfer itself was quick and fairly painless. I knew we all made a great team when M&M both grabbed my hand and held it the whole time they were doing the transfer. <3

The worst part was the 30 minute waiting period after the transfer. They put the bed back so that my head is laying lower than my feet and make me lay that way for 30 minutes. Doesn't sound like a big deal, right? Yeah, it wouldn't have been...except for the fact that I had drank that 40 million gallons of water beforehand. OMG I thought I was going to burst like a balloon while laying there!!

Afterwards we all went back to my house and ate our McDonald's french fries. :-) M&M had to go back to the city as they had obligations the next day. I then started my 48 hours of bedrest which was extremely boring. I did some puzzle books and watched a few movies. It wasn't toooo bad, but I was glad when it was over and I could move around again! I still can't pick up Shayla until after my beta test which is on 5/22 - that's going to be rough but you do what you gotta do!! Until then I'm trying to take it easy and not get too crazy about the 2 week wait!!

I'm ready for transfer!

I've been taking my meds


Eating my pineapple


Getting shot in the butt daily


I've got my lucky bracelet


Got my nails done in fertility colors


I have my green shirt for transfer


And for after the transfer...


The clinic retrieved 23 eggs from the donor - yay!! Of those 23, 16 fertilized. I spoke to the embryology department this morning and they said the embryos were looking great! The only bad part to all of this is that the egg donor was in a ton of pain because there were so many eggs. I hope the meds they gave her helped with the pain.

The transfer is tomorrow at 1:30pm. I have to drink 32oz of water and not pee beforehand. Uh, can we say this is NOT going to be fun!! I may pee on the doctor during the procedure - haha!! I want to talk to the doctor about my shots being in the morning. I also want to talk to them about bedrest after the transfer and about limited activity. Ya know, all the things I really should have been told in the beginning :-P Oh well, I guess there is no sense in complaining now! At this point, I am just beyond thrilled that we are here. We are actually here. :-)

WISH ME LUCK TOMORROW!!!

1st Butt Shot

So today was my first butt shot. First of all, let me start off by saying I am not happy with the fact that it has to be done in the morning. This week will be fine but once I start back at work, having to do this shot in the morning literally means getting up at 5:30am!! I called the coordinator on her cell phone yesterday to make sure it HAD to be done in the morning and she said for now it does. I'm supposed to ask the doctor at transfer about switching to evening shots, which would be soooo much easier for me.

Anyway, here's the scene at my house this morning:
Put Shayla down for a nap - it would be impossible to do the shot with her there. Get a ziplock bag and fill it with ice. Put that on my butt for 15 minutes. Paul gets the needle ready and comes in to the room. He tells me to stand up. I start crying hysterically (have I mentioned what a *huge* baby I am when it comes to needles?). I ask him if it's ok for me to be crying and he says "yes it is, but could you cry while standing up?" - haha. I finally get the courage to stand up. I feel the prick of the needle........................then nothing. I ask him if it's done. He says no, and to stand still. Apparently this shot takes a lot longer than the thigh ones. Finally it's over - I start to massage my butt and I feel wetness. I look back and there is blood pouring down my butt. So Paul goes to get a band-aid while I stand there holding a wipe on my butt. After he (finally) gets back and puts the band-aid on I massage the site and then sit on the couch with a heating pad for a 1/2 hour. All in all, it wasn't bad. I really didn't feel the needle which is what I was the most afraid of. My muscle has been kinda sore all day but nothing horrible. Let's just hope it stays like this and doesn't get worse as the time goes one!!