A little bit of everything

First, the shower pics I have been promising you all!

Cheryl walking in


Cheryl & Shayla (I love this picture <3)

These two are just because they are cute




My present to the parents-to-be


All of us inside doing the shower thing


The blanket my mom made


Rich being a good sport


If you want to see more pictures, let me know and I'll send you the link to my photo website!

A few things from today...

I spent the day in Trenton at a rally. The government is giving us crap for raises this year so all the non-profit organizations in New Jersey that work with the developmentally disabled went to Trenton to protest. We took the Riverline up and then walked the gazillion miles to the protest. We then stood out in the heat for 1.5 hours before my bosses decided it was time to head back. We walked back to the station and took the train a couple of stops before getting off and walking the gazillion miles to the restaurant my one boss wanted to go to (Catmandu for those of you who are wondering). Lunch was very good and I sucked down 2.5 lemonades while we were there (I was sooo thirsty!!). Then there was the walk back to the train and the 1/2 hour wait for the next one to come around. Luckily when we got back to the office we were allowed to go home (about a 1/2 hour early). Let's hope Governor Corzine heard us chanting in front of the statehouse so this whole trip wasn't a waste!!

When I picked Shayla up from the babysitter she gave me a very hard time (not unusual as she loves playing with all the kids there). I made a comment about her not having any friends at home. Sara (the babysitter) said "Shayla you should tell mommy to get working on that". I gave her a dirty look and said "you first!" (her daughter is 6 months older than Shayla). She got a twinkle in her eye and said "wellll" and the proceeded to tell me she was pregnant. I congratulated her and asked when she was due and she said January. This peaked my interest so I asked her when in January and she said January 27th. THAT'S MY DUE DATE WITH M&Ms BABY!! We are going to be going through our pregnancies together - how awesome is that?!?

Tomorrow is my final beta test. I don't know why, but I am extremely nervous! I think it's because the last #s didn't come back as high as I wanted. I still have all my pregnancy symptoms so I know I shouldn't be worrying...I guess it's just the nature of all this. There always seems to be something to worry about!! So I am going to once again beg for all the positive thoughts you wonderful people in blogland can muster up for me!!

Symptoms...
Headaches - still there although today wasn't as bad. I don't really understand how the headaches were better today considering the fact that we were walking out in the heat all day but I'll take what I can get!!
Sore boobs - yep. Haha!
Exhaustion - did I mention my day? I think ANYONE would have been exhausted! Luckily I did sneak in a nap when I got home.
Food issues - I haven't really been nauseous too much but I do get full very quickly. Like a half a sandwich completely fills me up. But then I'm hungry again within the hour.
Thirsty - Let's see, I am currently on drink #11 for the day. Does that answer that one? Haha!!

Drumroll Please.....

The third beta results are in - 778! I'm so glad my numbers are going up, although I was hoping for a number a little higher (ya know, hoping for those twins ;-) ). I go back on Friday for one more beta test just to be sure everything is all set and then the ultrasound is on Monday - woohoo!! I was a little surprised that they are doing the first ultrasound so soon - I figured they would wait until after 7weeks when it is more common to see the heartbeat - but I am not going to complain! The sooner we get in there and see that baby growing healthy, the better!!

Unfortunately, M1 won't be able to make it. He already has Tuesday off for another engagement and M2 is off all week...so it only makes sense for M2 to come to the ultrasound. I was a little disappointed but M1 reassured me that 1.) he will be there for everything he possibly can in the future (he even went as far as saying he will be there more than I want him too - haha!) and 2.) He is "with me" 24/7 - he is always thinking about me. Awww - doesn't he know I'm all hormonal and he's going to make me cry? ;-)

And I know I still owe you all pictures from the baby shower this past weekend - but I can't post them from work and I don't get on the computer much at home in the evening...I promise I'll post them soon!

Now that we really know I am knocked up, I am going to end each post with my pregnancy symptoms / cravings / etc. :-)

Headaches - right now this is the biggest problem I am having. My head is constantly pounding. I can't stand up too fast or I get dizzy and my head hurts. I guess it's from all the extra blood flow going on in there. I can't wait for these to go away!!

Exhaustion - manageable. I'm super tired all the time but I deal with it. I hardly ever nap (although I would like to!) and I generally get a normal amount of sleep at night. I remember with Shayla I was sleeping 12 hours a night and then napping for 2-3 hours a day. So this time around, not as bad.

Backache - there but not bad. More annoying than anything.

Thirsty - still have this but it's letting up a little. I'm still thirsty a lot but I'm not drinking gallons of water a day any more.

Sore boobs - depends on the day. Some days just walking hurts, other days I'm fine. Today is a fine day - woohoo!

So that's my pregnancy TMI (Too Much Information) for the day! Thanks for reading ;-)

Yay! I can finally say it...

I've had a huge thing going on in my life over the last few weeks but I couldn't talk about it here in fear of my sister reading about it. But now it's over and I can finally tell you all about it!

We had my sister's baby shower over the weekend! Phew! It felt good to say that - haha! We decided to have a barbecue / shower and if you know my sister, you know why ;-) She's a cop - she's not a girly girl - and a lot of her friends are male. So we decided to have a barbecue for the food (ya know, burgers, hot dogs, salads, ribs, etc.) and then we would leave the men and kids outside and the ladies would go in the house to do presents. After all that was over, we would have cake.

We had everyone arrive at 1pm with my sister coming at 2pm. My sister is *always* early so we left that hour figuring she would get there at least 20 minutes before she was supposed to. She had changed her plans several times - first she was coming up in the morning and cleaning out her old room, then she was coming up a little later and going to Costco and Kmart, etc. Every time we asked her what she was doing, there was a different story. So we really weren't sure how it all was going to work because she didn't have her day planned out at all! She decided to go to my parents and unload her truck, then she sat around and talked *forever*, then she went shopping. I finally called her a quarter after 2 to ask her where she was. She said she was shopping but would be there soon. I didn't want to sound suspicious so I told her I was bored, I didn't know anyone at the barbecue and she had to get there NOW to save me. Ok she says she's on her way. Thank goodness!! She finally gets there and walks in the side gate (we were all in the backyard waiting for her) but she decides rather than going right into the backyard, she wants to go in the side entrance for the house to go to the bathroom. So my dad keeps pushing her and says "I think someone just called you" to get her to go into the backyard. She walks back and can't figure out why everyone is staring at her and taking pictures - haha!! I THINK WE ACTUALLY SURPRISED HER!! You have to understand how huge that is in my family. For every surprise party, bridal shower, baby shower, etc. we have to REALLY surprise the person. And one of the first things Cheryl said to us after she found out she was pregnant was that we would never be able to surprise her. But we did it ;-)

She went around and talked to everyone while my brother started grilling up the food. Everyone sat around the backyard eating and talking like it was a regular barbecue. Then the ladies moved to the living room and we did presents and shower games. Cheryl and Rich got tons of great stuff and everyone had fun. And Rich was tortured by the ladies - we put every bow from every present on him. We also made a "daddy's on doody" workbelt for him that had masks, noseclips, goggles, duct tape, diapers, etc. in it. He really took it all like a good sport - I'm very proud of him!! After that we had cake and then it was cleanup time! They packed up a million different cars with the gifts and still couldn't fit everything so there is stuff at both my mom's house and my brother's house that they have to pick up this week.

It really was a great time. I was, of course, exhausted afterwards. By the time I got back to my parents house and got Shayla to bed, I was ready to go to bed myself! It was a long day of standing, walking around making sure everyone was happy, helping Cheryl with the presents, chasing Shayla around, etc. I think I sat down for all of 20 minutes during the whole thing.

I'll have to go through pictures (ours, my parents, my brothers, and my sister-in-laws) and post some later.

And on a surrogacy note - I have my repeat beta test tomorrow. *fingers crossed* for huge numbers!! Although if my symptoms tell me anything, we are doing just fine ;-)

2nd beta results

219! Yay!! We more than doubled in a 48 hour period - absolutely perfect!! And the great news - because my numbers have been on track and because of the holiday weekend, I don't have to get poked by needles again until Tuesday - woohoo! Well, I have to get poked in the butt, but not in the arm ;-)

Today we had a luncheon for work to celebrate Administrative Professional's Day (yes, I know it was a few weeks ago; my company is just slow - haha). We went to the Cheesecake Factory in Cherry Hill. Oh my goodness, it was sooo good. For an appetizer I had buffalo blasts and calamari. For lunch I had lemon chicken, asparagus, and mashed potatoes. The portions were so big - they gave me 4 pieces of chicken, a ton of asparagus, and a HUGE pile of potatoes. I didn't even come close to eating half of it all. And I couldn't eat too much because I had to save room for the cheesecake :-) Funny thing happened while we were there - I had ordered lemonade and when I got it, it looked like a margherita. They had put it in a big glass and put sugar on the rim. I knew it was lemonade so I didn't think anything of it. Well everyone I work with thought it was a margherita so they were all making fun of me for drinking while on work hours. If only they knew ;-)

Oh boy...

The pregnancy hormones have kicked in. It does not take much at all for me to get annoyed at people. I had a training class today and I got so mad at the morons that were in the class with me, I actually had to leave at one point. And every time I get snotty with Paul and he gives me "that look" I remind him that he knew what he was getting into! I asked him when we first met M&M if he was absolutely positive he wanted to put up with me being a b*tch for 9 months - haha!!

Another fun pregnancy related thing is the exhaustion. I'm sooooo tired ALL THE TIME. I wake up tired. I sit at work tired. I come home and take care of Shayla tired. I cook dinner tired. I watch TV tired. And then I go to bed exhausted. I forgot how much I loved the first trimester ;-)

And then there's the eating. The thought of food makes me nauseous. But if I don't eat, I'm nauseous. So I pretty much have to compromise and just eat without thinking about it - haha. Now I'm not complaining. Honestly, it's not bad. I would *love* it if it would stay this way for the whole first trimester (of course I won't get my hopes up for that!). A few food things that are different this time around: When I was pregnant with Shayla I craved sweet. Anything sweet - candy, lemonade, ice cream, etc. This pregnancy (so far) all I'm really craving is liquid. I'm ALWAYS thirsty. I will drink 8 bottles of water a day (and if you know me, you know how huge that is - I hate water) plus my morning decaf coffee, plus some lemonade, plus cranberry juice. Seriously, I can't stop drinking! And you would think with all that drinking I would be peeing my brains out but I'm not. *shrug*

Tomorrow is the repeat beta test. Because Tuesday's was 106, we want tomorrow's numbers to be over 200. *fingers crossed*

THE RESULTS ARE IN!!

I'm pregnant!! Yayayay!!! Of course, I already knew that but no one here did ;-)

On Saturday I got my first faint positive test. Like so faint I couldn't even get a good picture of it. So being the POASaholic that I am, I tested again that afternoon. Still faint, but definitely there:


Sunday morning I test again. Darker than Saturday's test. Now I am getting excited!


So Sunday afternoon I decide to test AGAIN but this time I use a digital test


The egg donor had asked me to tell her even if M&M didn't want to know. So I emailed her a picture of the test (I had to tell SOMEONE, right?). She responds back quite funnily - she's never taken a pregnancy test before so she has no idea what I just sent her but she'll assume it's good news. Haha!! After taking the digital, I sent her a picture of that. I received a response that at least that one she understood!! :-)

It was killing me not to tell M&M that I was getting positives. As added torture, M1 called me yesterday at work just to chat. I WANTED TO SCREAM AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS THAT HE WAS GOING TO BE A DADDY!! But I was good and didn't say anything. Then last night I see a user on my message board with a name that is an interesting compilation of M&Ms names. Hmmm...I wonder. So I click on it. From NY. No posts. Currently reading a thread specifically for my groups transfer. Interesting. Click on the name again a little later...reading another thread specifically for my groups transfer. Click on it yet again...reading a post I started about my positive tests. I *knew* it was them. They knew I was pregnant and I didn't get to tell them!! (Oh, and M&M, I'm going to get you back for that ;-) )

Anyway, the bloodtest was today. I got the call at 4:35 - right as I am picking Shayla up from the babysitters - of course!! My beta is 106!! Woohoo!! Perfect #. I go back in 2 days for a repeat test. Yayayayay!!!!

Thank you everyone for the well wishes, crossed fingers, and support you've given me. *hugs*

What a day already!!

Ok, so of course my heart is in my throat all morning because I went to get my blood test today. *fingers crossed*

Well, on my way to work from the clinic I got pulled over - for the first time ever. Yep, that's right. 12 years of driving and I've never been pulled over. I had taken Paul's car to work today (he has mine so he can get an oil change). We only got his car a few weeks ago, so it still has the temporary plate. Of course, my luck, the temporary plate fell out of the window while I was driving to work. The complex where I work is next door to the police station so there are always a gazillion cops around here. So, I got pulled over. Luckily for me, I got the nicest cop in the world (other than my sisters, of course! ;-) ).

So, here's pretty much how it went:
Cop: License, Registration and Insurance please
I hand him my license and dig through the glove box – all the paperwork is missing.
Me: I’m so sorry, this is my husband’s car and his paperwork isn’t in here
Cop: You know why I pulled you over, right?
Me: yes, and I planned on taping it back in the window as soon as I got to work.
Cop: And you don’t have any paperwork at all?
Me: No.
Cop: Do you have any points on your license?
Me: Nope – congratulations, you are the first cop to ever pull me over.
Cop: Well you are doing a super job! I’ll be right back, I have to check your license.
Me: Ok.
Wait FOREVER for him to come back.
Cop: Ok, I’m going to let you off with a warning since it’s your very first time being pulled over. But make sure you tape that plate in the window the minute you get to work. And get your insurance card. If I wrote you a ticket, it would have been $185.
Me: I know, I am so sorry.
Cop: And your plate expires tomorrow. Make sure you call the dealership – they are really bad with those plates.
Me: Yeah, and they haven’t even given me the pink card for the inspection sticker (DUH I just told the cop about another problem with the car!!!!)
Cop: Yep, that would be another expensive ticket.
Me: I know, my sister is a cop and she yelled at me for not having the pink card in the window.
Cop: Your sister is a cop? Where?
Me: Township of ********
Cop: Ah. Word of advice: That should have been the first thing you told me.
Me: I just felt weird saying that.
Cop: I know it feels funny but it would have felt worse if you got that $185 ticket.
Me: Very true.
Cop: Remember, first words out of your mouth should always be : MY SISTER IS A COP.
Me: I’ll remember that. Thank you.

Hahahaha!!! So that's my fun "I got pulled over for the first time" story. :-)

And of course I will update later when I get the beta results!!

Tomorrow is D-day!

Again, until the results tomorrow, there isn't much to post about at the moment (surrogacy related). So, I'll tell you all about my weekend instead :-)


Saturday I did nothing. No really, nothing. I played with the baby, went to Walmart and Target, took a nap, and made dinner. That's it. What a great day it was!

Sunday I got up early and went to a walk-a-thon we were having for work. Obviously I didn't walk (doctor's orders) but it was still a good time. I did pawn Shayla off on my co-worker's daughters, who took her on the walk and on the firetruck ride. When we got home Shayla and I both took a nice, long nap. While Shayla and I were at the walk and napping, Paul cleaned out the basement. Yay!! We also went out to dinner later that night. It was very nice.

All in all, it was a very nice weekend. Hugs and kisses to M&M - miss you guys! Hope things are going well with your parents M1! :-)

Heart Attack!

So immediately after updating my blog yesterday I get a call from the babysitter - Shayla fell and hit her head. She didn't cry and she's acting funny. I rush over there and my baby looks dazed and is very limp and lethargic. I decide to take her home and watch her. I call Paul and ask him to call the doctor to make an appointment. On the way home Shayla keeps falling asleep - I'm crying while I'm yelling at her to wake up. Paul makes the appointment for 1:15 - it's currently 10:45. I contemplate just turning around and going to the hospital but decided to just get her home so I could really watch how she acts in her own environment. I get her home and she's acting a little better. She's still not completely herself but she's better than she was at the babysitter's house. I decide not to take her to the hospital but to keep her doctor's appointment. I feed her lunch and she eats great. She starts acting a little more like herself every hour. Get her to the doctor and she's running around like a mad child playing with everything. I think the doctor really thought I was being an overprotective ninny but when I explained that she didn't cry after falling and the falling asleep in the car, he took me a little more seriously. He did a thorough checkup and said she looked fine. He told me she could nap after getting home but not to let her sleep more than 2 hours. She napped fine...just wasn't very happy about being woke up after 2 hours - haha. As the night went on, she got much better. Actually, she had me cracking up while I was cooking dinner. I had to gate her in the kitchen with me because she kept climbing on my dining room chairs (I think one head injury in a day is enough, don't you?). Well Boo (our cat) was playing with Shayla's plastic food in the dining room. Shayla was not happy about that at all. She was standing at the gate, holding onto it with her face pressed up against it, yelling at him "don't touch! don't touch!" - HAHAHAHA!!! THAT is the exact moment I knew she was ok. :-)

Limbo Baby

Well, there's not much going on. We're in limbo right now while waiting for the beta test on Tuesday. *fingers crossed* for a good, strong beta!

I am in the process of switching my shots to the evening. I'm on the last day of taking 2 shots a day - so tomorrow I am back to only doing 1 - yayay!! I am going to feel so much better not having to get up so early tomorrow. I have been so exhausted from all this getting up super early. Last night I couldn't even stay awake to watch a show after American Idol was over. I'm sure the shots don't help - progesterone is one of the pregnancy hormones that makes you sleepy - so now that my body is really absorbing it from the injections, I'm sure it's part of the reason I can't stay awake at night.

Not picking Shayla up at all hadn't been too much of a problem until last night. She was throwing a major hissy fit and kept clawing at my legs and saying "up mama up". I felt so bad that I couldn't pick her up. I tried taking her hand to walk her into the other room but she wanted nothing to do with that! So I called Paul and asked him to come downstairs and help me. He came downstairs and picked her up but that just made her cry more. She was so upset that I wasn't picking her up - it broke my heart. But I know it's all for a good reason, even if she doesn't understand that. And I think it's pretty good that the first time it really bothered her was an entire week after the transfer. I mean, she's wanted me to pick her up before but in general I can distract her with something else...this was the first time she was having nothing to do with it.

And since there isn't too much surrogacy related to talk about, I'll tell you all a funny story. On Sunday we were in Brick and one of Shayla's favorite things to do is to take a walk up and down my parent's street. So Paul took her for a walk and Shayla kept asking "what's that" while pointing to things. One thing she pointed to was some litter on the street. Paul responded with "that's litter. Someone felt the need to throw their garbage on the street. That person is what we call a scumbag". Shayla immediately responds with "scumbag". Uh oh...he forgot what a little parrot she is. Ok, no more saying things like that to her. Good thing she didn't say it again. Fast forward 4 days. Paul is walking her to his car in the morning and some guy rides by on a bike. The guy nonchalantly throws his empty soda bottle on the street. Shayla points to him and yells "SCUMBAG". I guess it wasn't a parrot thing so much as a retaining for 4 days and understanding that this is what we call people who litter. Crap.

That's my funny story / lesson for the day. Remember - kids are always smarter than you think they are!!

Today's Appointments

Today was a very long day. As a matter of fact, I am going to bed right after typing this up. *yawn*

I got up at 5:30am, showered and started getting ready for work. I then put the ice pack on my bum for about 15 minutes. I woke Paul up and he gave me my shot - WHICH HURT FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME. I think it was because he was still sleeping - haha!! After getting my shot I took my supp. and laid on my heating pad for a half hour. I then headed out to the clinic for my bloodwork. After having fun getting poked in my arm I went to work for a few hours. I then went back to the clinic around 1pm to have an ultrasound to check my lining. Then I went BACK to work for the afternoon. I got the call mid-afternoon from the clinic letting me know that my estrogen levels, progesterone levels, and lining were all PERFECT - yay!! I talked to the coordinator about changing my shots to the evening. She wanted to talk to the doctor about it to see if we could do it and if so, how we should go about changing them over. The doctor approved it and they gave me 2 choices for moving the time. First choice was to move it back 2 hours a day until I got to the time I wanted to be at. That sounds great but I have to work so it's pretty impossible. The other choice was to do 2 shots a day for 3 days - the first day do 1.5cc in the morning and .5cc at night. The second day 1cc in the morning and 1cc at night. The third day .5cc in the morning and 1.5cc at night. Then I can switch fully to evening shots. As much as getting 2 shots in the butt a day for 3 days doesn't sound very appealling, it will make my life sooooo much easier if I don't have to do this in the morning. So starting tomorrow, I will be getting 2 shots a day - wooohoo :-P

When I got home from work there were 2 packages waiting for me. One was from my secret sister - she sent me pregnancy tests :-) Now I have even more to obsess over - hahaha!! She also ordered a bracelet for me for good luck. Ain't she sweet? The other package was from M&M thanking me. It's beautiful tiered boxes filled with fruits, candies, crackers, cookies, cheese, etc. (I already dug into the chocolate covered raspberries :-D). I felt so loved today!!!

Oh, and as a side note - I will NOT be posting any HPT results in my blog. M&M don't want to know the results of any tests until we get the blood work done. We made a deal - I won't post any results here and they won't go to my surro message board so I CAN post the results there. I think that's fair (well, maybe not to all of you -haha!). If you are sitting on the edge of your seat and dying to know what the tests say, let me know and I'll tell you if there is any good news ;-)

Well, off to bed for me!! Goodnight :-)

Guess I need to update :-)

M1 came in on the train Wednesday night. It was quite the fiasco as Paul had gotten lost in downtown Trenton trying to find the train station (downtown Trenton is NOT somewhere you want to be lost). We spent the evening talking, watching American Idol, and getting excited about Thursday. It was a nice time.

Thursday morning we went out to eat, dropped Shayla off at the babysitter's house, then went back to my house so I could take my meds and get my shot. We went to the clinic where M2 met up with us. It was nice to see him again - I haven't seen him in a long time! We sat around the waiting room and chatted while I drank my 40 million gallons of water. Then it was time for the transfer. EEeee! They brought us in the back but had to stop us because there were "too many". Paul was a sweetheart and bowed out gracefully so that M&M could go in for the transfer. We got in the back and we all got in our suits (M1 did a great job of putting his on backwards - hehe!!). Then we went into the room. I felt kinda like I was abducted by aliens - in a dark room surrounded by people in white suits with face masks, everything seeming so secretive. I was then reminded just how long my cervix is when they had to switch to the longest instruments they had. The transfer itself was quick and fairly painless. I knew we all made a great team when M&M both grabbed my hand and held it the whole time they were doing the transfer. <3

The worst part was the 30 minute waiting period after the transfer. They put the bed back so that my head is laying lower than my feet and make me lay that way for 30 minutes. Doesn't sound like a big deal, right? Yeah, it wouldn't have been...except for the fact that I had drank that 40 million gallons of water beforehand. OMG I thought I was going to burst like a balloon while laying there!!

Afterwards we all went back to my house and ate our McDonald's french fries. :-) M&M had to go back to the city as they had obligations the next day. I then started my 48 hours of bedrest which was extremely boring. I did some puzzle books and watched a few movies. It wasn't toooo bad, but I was glad when it was over and I could move around again! I still can't pick up Shayla until after my beta test which is on 5/22 - that's going to be rough but you do what you gotta do!! Until then I'm trying to take it easy and not get too crazy about the 2 week wait!!

I'm ready for transfer!

I've been taking my meds


Eating my pineapple


Getting shot in the butt daily


I've got my lucky bracelet


Got my nails done in fertility colors


I have my green shirt for transfer


And for after the transfer...


The clinic retrieved 23 eggs from the donor - yay!! Of those 23, 16 fertilized. I spoke to the embryology department this morning and they said the embryos were looking great! The only bad part to all of this is that the egg donor was in a ton of pain because there were so many eggs. I hope the meds they gave her helped with the pain.

The transfer is tomorrow at 1:30pm. I have to drink 32oz of water and not pee beforehand. Uh, can we say this is NOT going to be fun!! I may pee on the doctor during the procedure - haha!! I want to talk to the doctor about my shots being in the morning. I also want to talk to them about bedrest after the transfer and about limited activity. Ya know, all the things I really should have been told in the beginning :-P Oh well, I guess there is no sense in complaining now! At this point, I am just beyond thrilled that we are here. We are actually here. :-)

WISH ME LUCK TOMORROW!!!

1st Butt Shot

So today was my first butt shot. First of all, let me start off by saying I am not happy with the fact that it has to be done in the morning. This week will be fine but once I start back at work, having to do this shot in the morning literally means getting up at 5:30am!! I called the coordinator on her cell phone yesterday to make sure it HAD to be done in the morning and she said for now it does. I'm supposed to ask the doctor at transfer about switching to evening shots, which would be soooo much easier for me.

Anyway, here's the scene at my house this morning:
Put Shayla down for a nap - it would be impossible to do the shot with her there. Get a ziplock bag and fill it with ice. Put that on my butt for 15 minutes. Paul gets the needle ready and comes in to the room. He tells me to stand up. I start crying hysterically (have I mentioned what a *huge* baby I am when it comes to needles?). I ask him if it's ok for me to be crying and he says "yes it is, but could you cry while standing up?" - haha. I finally get the courage to stand up. I feel the prick of the needle........................then nothing. I ask him if it's done. He says no, and to stand still. Apparently this shot takes a lot longer than the thigh ones. Finally it's over - I start to massage my butt and I feel wetness. I look back and there is blood pouring down my butt. So Paul goes to get a band-aid while I stand there holding a wipe on my butt. After he (finally) gets back and puts the band-aid on I massage the site and then sit on the couch with a heating pad for a 1/2 hour. All in all, it wasn't bad. I really didn't feel the needle which is what I was the most afraid of. My muscle has been kinda sore all day but nothing horrible. Let's just hope it stays like this and doesn't get worse as the time goes one!!

Even more updates

I guess I need to get more creative with my titles - haha!!

I had another lining check yesterday at the clinic. It was a different ultrasound tech than the one I usually have...which isn't necessarily a bad thing as I don't really care for the one I usually have. Well this girl was very personable, asking me questions, talking to me, just being friendly. When she is doing the ultrasound (trans-vaginal) she says "Oh, your uterus is tipped back". I told her yes it is and I've known about it for years. Then she tells me that they can't get a clear picture of a tipped uterus in a trans-vaginal ultrasound so she wants to do a belly one. Thank goodness I got this girl and not the other one! She did the belly one and says "Oh, that's so much better. Your lining is triple striped and perfect!". She then went on to tell me that the pictures she got during the trans-v one weren't very good and that my lining didn't look ready for transfer that way - eek! Could you imagine what would have happened if I got my normal ultrasound tech? I *know* she wouldn't have done an ultrasound on my belly - so they would have thought my lining wasn't ready!

Last night I got a call from the clinic letting me know everything was hunky dorey and to stay on the meds I am on. The egg donor will be triggering today and retrieving on Monday. My transfer is with 3 day embabies so it'll be on Thursday - woohoo! Of course it figures that I took this whole week off and the transfer isn't until Thursday but that's ok. It's very rare that I have time to clean my house and get stuff done without chasing after the baby....so I'm going to welcome the opportunity! And if I get a lot done on Monday, I might just take the baby out to Brick on Tuesday to surprise my parents. I have a few things I have to do out that way anyway, so it would be great to get that stuff done AND get to spend some time with my family.

I guess that's all for now. I'm expecting another call from the clinic today or tomorrow to let me know where we stand. Eeeee - this is getting very exciting!! :-)

Thank you!

I wanted to write this entry as a thank you to all of you who have helped me.

M&M – you are wonderful IFs. I am so excited to be a part of this journey with you. I cannot wait to make you daddies. I know a lot of surrogacy is trust – both ways. I want to let you know that you can trust me. I will do everything I can to grow your baby(ies) to be healthy and happy. I can already imagine what a wonderful, amazing experience it is going to be the day your little one enters the world. When you get to hold YOUR baby for the first time. I get all choked up just thinking about it.

Paul – I couldn’t ask for a better husband. You have never questioned me through this whole journey. You have never once worried about my ability to do this – you just know if it’s what I want to do, I am going to do it and you’ve been supportive through it all. Thank you. Thank you for giving me my shots, thank you for being my rock, thank you for loving me the way you do.

My mom – thank you for listening to me. I know you don’t fully understand this whole journey but you’ve been there anyway. I appreciate the ear you lend to me almost every night. And thank you so very much for being so positive. While others use the word ‘if’, you’ve used the word ‘when’ and that makes such a huge difference.

To my friends at SMO – thank you for guiding me. If it weren’t for you, I would have been lost MANY times. I’m sure as my journey unfolds you will be there to support me even more than you already have, and for that I am thankful. And a special thank you to my secret sister – you brighten my life in such a huge way. And it’s not so much the gifts as it is knowing someone is thinking about me. <3

To my friends from IM – thank you for checking up on me. It makes me feel so special every time I get an email from one of you asking how I’m doing, how my journey is going, and wishing me luck. You have no idea how much all of you have touched my life. I’m sorry for not being there – I’m sorry for some of the decisions I’ve made – I’m sorry if I hurt ANY of you. I love you all.

And last but not least, Shayla – thank you baby for being the wonderful little person you are. Every time I look at you I remember why I started this journey. I know the joy of getting that baby that you’ve longed for and I want to help someone else get that feeling. You are an amazing little girl and I cherish you.

Updates Galore!

I guess the most important update is my lining check. The clinic called and left a message with Paul that my lining was great. He asked them about the IE vs. TS and they said while they prefer TS, IE is just fine. WOOHOO! I go back on Friday morning for them to take another quick look -- but for now it looks like we'll be transferring next week some time. :-) And M&M will be staying with me during the time of the transfer - so that's wonderful as well. I'm really looking forward to that!

And onto the other updates:

We found out over the weekend that our clinic has changed it's protocol and will now allow one embaby from each IF to be transferred. That is AMAZING news. This has been a huge issue with M&M and the clinic from day 1 of this journey so it's fantastic that it is going "our" way. Now I am hoping and praying for twins so M&M each get a bio baby out of this (of course they would both love ANY baby that came from this, but one of each would be so special!).

My weekend was great. We went out to Brick on Saturday and spent some time with my family. My mom's best friend took Shayla for a walk so I got to relax a little..which was very nice and much needed. Saturday evening we had dinner and cake for my dad's birthday. I always enjoy getting together with my family - we have such a great time. And it's really fun to see my sister every week or every other week because I get to see her belly grow! Sunday we took Shayla to the boardwalk and put her on some rides. She was less than thrilled - haha! I guess we'll try again in a few months and see if she enjoys them a little more!

I'm very excited right now - I am off all week next week. I mean, I'm MORE excited by the transfer being next week. But I'm very excited just to have off. It's my first vacation from work for a long time. The last job I had I was considered part time so I didn't get any paid vacation. The job before that I was an independent contractor - if I didn't work, I didn't get a dime. So this "getting paid to not work" thing is a long time coming!! And it will be nice to get out of here. I love my job and most of the people I work with...but there are a select few who feel the need to torture me on a daily basis; it will be great to get away from them for a little while. Although I do have to say I just received an email from a coordinator I deal with a lot who said (and I quote - haha) "Linda, I really appreciate your flexibility and cooperation... you're a breath of fresh air compared to other agencies I deal with!!!" :-) That makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Now I should forward that to the personnel director who told me I need to stop caring so much and taking so much responsibility for my job. Do you think someone who didn't give a rat's ass about their job would get an email like that??? Ah well, at least *I* know I do a good job. :-)

Going Crazy!

I had my ultrasound this morning. I know I saw on the paper while I was there that my lining is a 14, which is a fantastic number. However, there was a box checked off saying it was an IE lining - Not that I know what that means...I just know I was told it had to be a TS lining. One of the girls on the message board I am on said that she had an IE lining, transferred (at the same clinic we are using), and is now preggo. *fingers crossed* we have a similar outcome! Unfortunately, there is nothing I can do but sit here and wait for the clinic to call. Tick tock, tick tock.

After getting back to the office from my ultrasound, I received a phone call from my husband. He had gone into the kitchen to make up Shayla's sippy cups for the sitter and when he came back in the living room, he found her sitting in a pile of screws -- with one in her mouth!! Apparently she learned how to get into the cabinet she never used to be able to get into. He didn't think she swallowed any but wanted to take her for an x-ray just to be safe. So I met him at the hospital and 2.5 hours later we were told she DIDN'T swallow a screw. Thank gawd!!

And that's just my day today - I had planned to update from my whole weekend but I'm too tired now!! I'll update about my weekend later - when I'm updating about my ultrasound results - I hope they are good ones!